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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Children struggling with long weekends away

2 replies

Whatiwishfor · 17/07/2018 12:28

Just after some advise really. My young children go to their fathers eow he collects and then drops them back to school on Monday. Its court ordered, so carnt easily be changed. But they are struggling, their behaviour is difficult and they are disrespectful to the staff. Their father has been a total nightmare since separating and in all honestly probably has aun undiognosed personality disorder. I obviously dont know what goes on at the weekend but i know he will be being nagative about me and my family, there is certainly a degree of emotional abuse towards the children. There is a history of domestic abuse, emotionally and financially.

Anyhow i wondering what i can do to help the children, they are taken strait to school by their father, school have been fantastic. I did wonder about popping down to school to see them but dont think thats sustainable.

The other weekend my daughter took a teddy and said she wouldn't miss me so much as she could cuddle it! It didnt make any difference, its hard to suggest they take anything to their fathers as he just keeps it!
Anyone been in this situation, what did you do? thank you

OP posts:
DontSmackThePony · 17/07/2018 21:07

Hi OP,

Not really any advice here I am sorry, juat bumping for you as I really felt sad for your children when I read your post.

My DD is 6 now and a couple of years ago, she really struggled going to her dads for two nights. We are more amicable and we rearranged xontact so she'd only have to do one night at a time. Now she's a bit older, she doesn't mind the odd two night stint, but still wouldnt want it all the time. I cant imagine how difficult it would be to HAVE to send her knowing it was making her unhappy.

How long has it been, do you think it might get easier for them with time?

Is there no way the school can support an effort to get the court order varied? I have no idea how the process works. I'm sure somebody else will have better advice.

Whatiwishfor · 17/07/2018 21:25

Thank you x the court order is new so hoping they will settle into it. It was deliberately ment to be collect and drop at school so the children don't witness the hand over as he's so vial to me. I also carnt discuss with him as he's so unapprochable.

OP posts:
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