My sister and my birthday... what do you think is going on?

[Nannyplumshairstyle]

My sister (18 months younger than me)
didn't send me a card for my birthday or even ring me.
She put a message on her Instagram story wishing my Instagram name a happy birthday but no text, phone call, card or present.
I'm quite sad about it because she lives in France I, in England and we have always sent each other lovely cards etc for birthdays.
For Christmas this year she sent me some very expensive boots which were a size 5.5 (I am a size 7!) she is 33 I am 34.
She didn't check my size before sending them and told me to either give them back to her or sell them on Ebay. I bought myself a pair of the same boots on Ebay in my size so she would know I'd benefited from her kind gesture but couldn't sell the pair she gave me so just gave them to my step daughter in the end.
She seems to spend every single day off taking various friends to hospital (lives in an extreme sports area of the alps) helping out her idiot user ex-boyfriend but won't so much as answer the phone or reply to texts when it comes to family.
She bemoans the fact that nobody visits her but only last week I tried to sort out some dates to go out and see her and her contact has been nothing short of sketchy since.
I am getting quite exasperated by her 'attachment avoidant' behaviour as I seem to be the one reaching out all the time only to be rejected by her disinterest.
For her birthday I spent days selecting thoughtful presents, wrapping them and I have a young baby so it wasn't an easy job. She didn't pick her phone up that day either.
I thought we had a sort of unspoken pact that we'd always have each other's backs but it feels like she's randomly pulling away from me and I have literally no idea why.
Thanks for reading.

Is she ok? Could she be having a bit of a hard time and doesn't want to face up to it? By telling family then it makes it real, if you see what I mean?

It sounds like things are not going very well for her and she's hiding it.

I can imagine you must feel very hurt, but if this is unusual for her it might be that there is something difficult going on in her life.

I would for the moment keep in touch with her and let her know you'd like to see her. Maybe even just book a time to go and see her and stay locally, even if she seems to be brushing you off.

Try not to take it personally - she might have problems in her life and be finding it difficult to let people know what they are.

I only speak from my own experience - in that when my marriage was bad I ended up pushing some people away as I didn't want them to know how bad things were. You just never know what might be going on in people's lives. I know that I really appreciated the people who resolutely stayed in touch regardless, so until you know what's behind this, I'd just keep the contact up and arrange a time to see her.

My sister can be a bit like this at times. She's very absorbed in her own issues and doesn't always realise others are struggling as well. Does she perhaps feel a bit put out by your DC? I know my own sister can have episodes of attention seeking when one of us has something big going on that gets all the attention like getting married, having kids etc. But we're family and we stick together through it all. Perhaps reach out to her, send her a message and ask what's going on?

She's obviously going through a very busy time. Maybe leave presents until you see each other.

I suspect your sister is having a hard time and doesn’t want to worry you or maybe even admit it to herself. If you have always gotten along well just keep the lines of communication open. When people are struggling sometimes it’s the most they can do to hold the reins of their lives together.

THank you all you're right. I shall try to take it less personally and see if I can find out if there's something wrong.
Xx