Friend badmouthing mutual friend - how do I handle it?

[Anonymumm]

I have a (kind of former) friend, whom I've distanced myself from, after they bad mouthed a mutual friend.

The problem is, we will still be at mutual Mum meets, but what is really doing my head in, is that the friend whom she bad mouthed (big time, and could have got her in a lot of stick, through what is essentially lies)
Is also at at these Mum meets, oblivious to the badmouthing, and they are being nice as pie to each other - it is doing my absolute head in, I can't take the two faced pantomime of it all!

Do I warn my friend about her? Or do I just leave everyone to see her for what she is? She is messaging this friend, asking to borrow things from her, and all sorts - argh!

Keep out of it. Otherwise they will become best buddies and you will finish up losing both of them as friends - and no doubt others drawn into the saga as well. These things never end well if you try and help - they'll just blame you for stirring up trouble.

Keep out of it but warn the other friend off indirectly. Something like I've heard she says things about people behind their backs but is nice as our to their faces.

She'll have badmouthed you too. Just keep her at arms left. If you've clocked on others will.

I’m in this situation at the moment, except I’m your friend. I knew I was being badmouthed but kept being told I was imaging it/reading too much into things until I was asked by another mutual friend why I wasn’t so close to these other women as I once. I knew she was just digging, but she confirmed that they had been slagging me off and I put the story straight.

I’m glad she asked me as I was being gaslighted by everyone. Maybe your mutual friend has an incline that she is being badmouthed but as no one has confirmed it she hasn’t got a chance to stand up for herself. If I was you, having being your friend, and I still am in that position, I’d tell her. It’s then up to her what she does with that information.

I always distance myself from 'friends' who bitch about other friends. If they are bitching about them, they are bitching about you too. Don't get involved, your mutual friend will work it out for herself in the long run.

One of my closest friends is a terrible gossip. She’s always telling me stuff about other people and whinging about their kids etc when I’d really rather not hear it. She’s a lovely person otherwise and I know she’s had her issues but it does make me wary of what she might tell others about me. I know she kept information to herself concerning a job we both volunteer at and I was very hurt by that and haven’t forgotten it.

Thank you all for your replies, it's always good to be able to have a good old rant and get some good advice - I will keep my distance, and bite my tongue :-)

Strongly agree with biting your tongue and distancing yourself. No doubt she's bad mouthed you too. I have a former friend for the same reason. I told her "please don't bitch about X to me, you know we're friends" but she kept doing it. After that I lost my respect and trust for her and the friendship died. Life's too short for toxic people like that.

hhhmmm I don't know If I was your friend I'd rather know what was being said about me tbh