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Relationships

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Am I too old, and the rest?

22 replies

olderandbolder · 16/07/2018 18:36

Over the last few years, I’ve been to a few social events where I’ve bumped into a younger guy that I know, or he’s been there due to the fact that he is a friend of my two younger brothers.

There’s always been chemistry and flirting between us and on two occasions we’ve acted on it, (one of which my brothers know of) but without actually sleeping together. He’s very forward about being attracted to me, wanting a date, etc. and I flirt back a little, but i always kind of brush it off as well, as he is almost 6 years younger, I’m a single parent, and because of the family connection.

Last time I saw him, he was seeing someone, but he’s single now. He messaged me at the weekend, random conversation about some daft drunk situation he’d been in, and we ended up doing the usual flirting, reminiscing about past encounters and I found myself thinking “just ask me out! I’ll give it a go!”

Anyway, my point is, me at 35, a single parent to an almost teen, him 29 with a good career and freedom, and also a good family friend - should I steer clear? Or should I make it known that maybe I would like to see if there’s more to it?

Interested to hear from anyone who is the “older” woman in this kind of age range too.

OP posts:
Desmondo2016 · 16/07/2018 18:38

I honestly can't see the age is an issue. It's only 6 years. Go for it!!!

titch147 · 16/07/2018 18:42

Go for it I met my other half I was divorced 3 kids him single 21 and me 34 still together 5 years on best thing I ever did he's wonderful xx

Rach000 · 16/07/2018 19:13

It's not a big gap. Go for it. Just carry on chatting and suggest meeting for a drink or coffee sometime. Just meet as friends and see how it goes and see if it will develop into something more.

NotTheFordType · 16/07/2018 19:15

I would see the fact you're a parent as being a bigger barrier TBH - 6 years is nothing but you clearly have a lot more life experience. However he may well be totally able to handle the idea that he's less important to you than your DC and that dating time has to be organised around childcare.

I would give it a go, if it turns out he's not willing to see someone who isn't footloose and fancy free then it will soon fizzle out anyway and you'll have lost nothing (and maybe had some great laughs and sex!)

halfwitpicker · 16/07/2018 19:19

35??!!

I thought you were gonna say 90 or something.

What are you actually doing on here??! Text him!

SandyY2K · 16/07/2018 19:20

It's not really the age, but the friendship with your brothers which could be affected if it ends.

Singlenotsingle · 16/07/2018 19:29

At least your DC isn't a baby/toddler with all the chaos that entails, so it should be easier. And 6 years isn't a lot. I'm 3 years older than mine and we don't even notice it.

Cambshusband · 16/07/2018 19:35

6 years?! That’s pretty standard stuff isn’t it? My wife’s 43, I’m 37, it has literally never been an issue.

Stop over analysing it

Cricrichan · 16/07/2018 19:47

Not that big an age gap. Go for it

SerenDippitty · 16/07/2018 19:48

6 years is nothing!

SuperSuperSuper · 16/07/2018 20:30

6 years is nothing. Forget that.

But...The fact that you've a DC who has to come first MIGHT be an issue. At nearly 13, DC doesn't need "childcare" as such, you can go out for an early dinner or to the cinema, but you can't yet do spontaneous late nights or overnights. And your social life will presumably be stymied by his/her extracurricular activities, especially if he/she is sporty.

Plenty of couples meet via family. Don't worry about that. As long as you treat each other with respect there'll be no awkwardness for your brothers.

MrsExpo · 16/07/2018 21:05

One of my closest friends once asked me a very similar question about her attraction to a younger guy who she’d known for a while. I told her to go for it and she did. They live together in a house they jointly own and have a wonderful relationship two years on. She’s 47, he’s 32. So 6 years is nothing. Just go for it and see where it leads. You only live once. Good luck. Smile

FishingIsNotASport · 16/07/2018 21:20

If the age gap was the other way around would you think it was too big a gap? Of course not! My mum is 11 years older than my step-father and they've been married over 30 years (and she was raising 4 kids when they met).

Karigan198 · 16/07/2018 21:21

My partners 8 years younger than me. 6 years isn’t really that much and won’t make a great difference

Dandeliontea123 · 16/07/2018 21:23

6 years is nothing. Go for it.

WasFatNowThin · 16/07/2018 21:24

Go for it girl, six years is nothing.

olderandbolder · 17/07/2018 08:08

Thanks for all the replies. Very encouraging! I should clarify, that although I’m a single parent, my ex is very much involved and my son stays there 2 nights one week, 3 the next, plus he’s flexible about extra. This guy does live about a 45 min drive away now though.

Anyway, I’ve not spoken to him now since Sunday and I’m certainly not going to make the first move, just because that’s me. If I don’t speak to him again soon, I’ll be seeing him in a month or so. See what happens then.

OP posts:
Undercoverbanana · 17/07/2018 08:17

FFS. I’m 50 with 2 independent (left home) DCs and my DP of 3 years is 41 and has never been married or had children.

My Mum and her DP met when he was 38 and she was 45.

If it works, it works.

Carrotmama · 17/07/2018 09:13

Ask
Him
Out!!

princesstiasmum · 17/07/2018 09:23

Dont be silly, 6 years is nothingSmile, dont miss a chance of being happy its worth a go, you will never know unless you take a chance
Go for it

user1486956786 · 17/07/2018 10:48

Surely it's a good thing your ex is very involved... much easier for you to organise dates, sleepovers etc when dating someone new! Go for it!!

Karigan198 · 25/07/2018 13:35

Have you asked him out yet?

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