Toxic sister, please help!!!

[Bekiboom]

Hey everyone. This is my first post on here and I really need help. My sister has been in an abusive controlling relationship for over a year. She has pulled me and my parents through hell and back. She helped to split up me and my partner for a while by playing with problems she knew we were having. We are now back together. She has seen my one year old a handful of times. Her latest thing is that apparently I have told her that my partner is abusing me and has had me against a wall with my throat. This necer happened and wasn't ever said by me. She has blatantly refused to apologise to me or my partner for saying this and stands by what she has said. My parents want her to be god parent to my child because they aren't comfortable with her not being and also want me to just drop it and move on. They keep throwing out that I am using my little one as a weapon but I am really uncomfortable having my son around someone who has multiple times tried to tear my family apart. She is nasty and is most definitely lying about this. I can't understand why my family are pressuring me and my partner to just forget about it and that they don't think she should apologise even though they have said themselves they don't believe that my partner has or ever would treat me that way?

Am I going crazy? Am I in the wrong here? I just don't think it's fair she can carry on slandering my partner, and in turn me for allowing someone like that to be around my child and I just have to deal with it.

It hurts me that people will say that I am using my child as a weapon when I am just trying to protect him from all this

Please help. Thank you so much

Did she want to leave him? It doesn't sound like she did. And if she didn't nothing will keep her away from him.

I too strongly believe that she is also drug using, what are you basing your belief she isn't on?

I am nc with my sister and honestly quite lc with rest of immediate family. Sometimes it's the only option to protect yourself and your child. My sister is an addict now but has always been unpredictable, destructive, irresponsible and my parents always defended her.

You get to a point where not only enough's enough but you HAVE to stop the ramifications reaching into the next generation.

Honestly not only no to godparent (do they really want their grandson being guided by an unstable, quite possibly addicted aunt in an abusive relationship?! They're being ridiculous!) but definitely at this point you need to be nc with her. Completely.

I'm also wondering how they are able to ambush you. Don't give them the ability to. I screen calls and other communication and only deal with people when I want to. There's no law saying you have to answer the phone - or even the door.

TBH it sounds like your being the scapegoat in this family is not new.

I don't believe she does the drugs because she always seems with it when I see her. It may be an act and i may be wrong. She wanted to leave him that one night but then started talking to him the next day and left for him again. They don't see her as unstable or anything. They say she is trying to get her family back and I'm standing in the way of it

I wouldn't say that I am a scapegoat but I think that most of the time I allow things to be brushed under the carpet because I hate the conflict and the drama and I'm scared of what I have to lose

Seeming "with it" doesn't necessarily mean not taking drugs.

What drugs are we talking here? Some make people seem more alert rather than less.

My sister appears worse when she's not getting the drug she's addicted to. She looks tired, unkempt, speech is slurred etc - the drug eliminates these issues.

I think he mainly smokes weed but she herself has said it's been more than that before

bekiboom just to say, I'm sorry you're in this awful situation. It really hurts when you can see yourself losing people you love, when it goes that far that you have to choose either your son & partner's emotional safety or knuckle under to difficult parents.