New guy needy or am I too demanding?

[ChangeofName911]

I am so conflicted about a new man I have been dating fo a few months. We both have our own children so can see each other EOW generally.

I feel he is a little desperate as he doesnt have many hobbies or anything in his life apart from work. He wants to hang out with me all weekend. I just want to be alone sometimes or not see him ALL weekend.

He says he understands this but he gives off a very needy vibe. He said he knew I was busy this week but still mentioned it this weekend like a little dig (" I was a bit down we werent having daily chats".)

I cant solve his problems or take care of him. It is hard enough to try and care for myself and my kids and work.

I feel he is too nice. Cliche sorry...

I know its right I should just let him go.

I guess I am sad to be alone or single again. And I cant face OLD again. Sigh! Adult life! I know I am not perfect at ALL. I dont want to be horrible

Any ideas? :(

He would be way too needy for me. Sounds like you need to chat to him and see if it improves.

It just sounds like you want different things. If you can't find ways to meet in the middle without one of you conceding too much of their own wants/needs then you're simply incompatible. If that is the case it's better to call it quits i think than flog a dead horse.

It's not a matter of being needy, necessarily. He wants a girlfriend he can see quite often and you don't want that.

It’s one thing having few texts to keep in touch in day. Another if he wants spend hours on phone when you need to get home work and sort out everything in evening. Would he prefer to be over at yours Friday night and not move until Monday?

Doesn't sound like he has enough of a varied life and other activities outside you. Way too needy. Be warned

He's not needy. You've just got mismatched expectations about what it means to be in a relationship.

What he is looking for is totally ok, and what you are looking for is totally ok. It does sound like you are incompatible though.

I don't think he's too needy, it's just that you have different needs/wants/expectations. Tbh I think if you were smitten with him then you'd be keen like he is, I don't think eow is that much if you've been seeing each other a while.

Thanks for replies. I may just have to call it a day, which is sad as we do get on in many ways.

So close and yet so far.

I am not used to being the non-needy one.

He is adamant he wants to be with me... which possibly annoys me even more, why does he want to stick at it when I am try to push him away... feels like he is trying too hard.

Not very easy to date asa single parent is it.

It really doesn't sound as if you like him all that much tbh. He's clearly just keener on you than you are on him. If you were really into him, then you would want to see more of him yourself.

Huge red flag. Kick him into touch

I let him go. Poor guy. Single time! Phew!

why does he want to stick at it when I am try to push him away

Human psychology 101 - we want what we can't have.

Ahhh it's always hard to hurt someone when they haven't done anything wrong.

Anyway op you have to remember it's your own happiness you need to prioritize not other people's. If you weren't looking forward to seeing him then that is your answer I'm afraid. And he deserves to be with somebody mad about him.

You've done the right thing finishing with him. He will find someone else and so will you. I bet you feel relieved (or will do after a a day or two).

Good luck.

Thanks Katgurl. Relief is the perfect description for how I feel!