Gifts of clothes from newish DP

[myidentitymycrisis]

Newish (we got back together) DP bought me something and I detest anyone buying me clothes. I feel violated and that my personality has been invaded.

Any perspectives welcomed

Seriously?

First world problems..

It only becomes an issue if they are a different size to what you usually wear and he wants you to change physically for them to fit.
Otherwise, ask for the receipt and swap them.

Hi OP,

That's a strong reaction but one I totally recognise in myself. My Mum (who is otherwise awesome) was always hypercritical of my dress sense as a teenager. Clothing gifts were always offered with a tone of 'now at least you look fine'. I find it really hard to separate a clothing gift from a direct criticism of my appearance and how I present myself.
I've got much better with time but my OH knows better than to try and shop for me. I always hated clothes shopping and am permanently grateful that I live in the age of internet shopping.
I hope you can have a little chat with him about it. Most likely he just wanted to treat you, but if it's a historically loaded subject for you it can be hard to see that. Good luck!

Violated? Give over, grow up and accept gifts graciously.

It is a personal difference& people vary. I’ve fely like you, OP, but not everyone will get it. Even if the clothes are to your taste, why can’t the partner trust you would buy them yourself? It does feel intrusive, I understand...

I can see a strong reaction to either extreme of tacky inappropriately ‘sexy’ clothes or, the more concerning , super modest clothes ie wants you to cover up.

Normal buying of clothes as an unexpected gift does not deserve the reaction of violation exactly but I agree that it
could be an awkward and potentially uncomfortable thing to receive. It’s shift but also an imposition.

I do know a couple of men who buy clothes as gifts for their wives but in both cases they have got great taste and deep wallets and are stylish themselvesnsnd , more importantly, know their wives’ preferences and fit.

. (My husband is rather more of the panicked expression when he looks at me and realises something is different but is not entirely sure if it a new clothing item or a different haircut/colour 🙄)

Violated? Seriously? Totally OTT reaction.

It’s a gift - typo

Is the issue that you find receiving gifts difficult so ANY present would be unappreciated
Or that its clothes different too what you'd pick so you feel he's trying to change you?