My relationship has ended

[inshockrightnow]

Hi all

4.5 years. I adored him but he doesn't want to be with me. I'm 45. In shock but in some ways relieved. He had social anxiety, anxiety, no ambition, suffered depression (in denial of that).

I tried so hard to help him. I have been his longest relationship, but he wants to be alone. He doesn't do well in relationships, so he says. He told me he wont do anything stupid and I believe that.

I'm sitting in our apartment, he has gone to a B&B for the night.

I am working the next four days so he will clear his stuff out when I'm working. I just feel broken but sadly relieved (as does he).

When does the pain hit? Oh God, I'm numb.

Sorry to be a downer on a Friday.

I'm so sorry. Be kind to yourself. The relief is normal - sharing your life with someone who has such issues is very, very hard. Take some time to get used to being who you are now, recover your strength and pick up your life again. 45 isn't old. I'm 50, going through divorce from a husband with mental health and alcohol issues and although I want to be alone and rediscover who I am, I know eventually I will be ready to meet someone new. You will reach that point too, just take as much time as you need.

Thank you, pointythings.

I know we cant help someone who wont help themselves. He is a beautiful soul but with crippling low self esteem. I will miss him so much, despite the issues, we had a laugh and trust. And he was so supportive of me. I will miss all that.

The next while will be hard.

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, it has helped. I wish you all the best, too. Thanks again xx