General opinions :-)

[Horsesforcourses23]

Hi everyone!

I've posted a little bit on here and I really appreciate everyone's views and opinions so I wanna throw this one out after a conversation at work and see what other people think.

My romantic history is appalling, I either can't find a guy or find the wrong ones... I've been single quite along time. So the last 3 people I've dated over the last few years have been like this;

1. Huge chemistry, almost electric, always laughing, loads of fun, turned out to be a total shit head.
2. technically the perfect man on paper, nice, polite, good job, house etc no chemistry what so ever.
3. fancied him, but absaloutely nothing in common.

So getting to the point when we talked at work the general consensus is that I should've tried harder with man number 2 and that the chemistry could've developed if I gave it some time (to be clear I only had intimate with number 1). However I feel the chemistry should be there and that a relationship you should just click, but they think it's a naive point of view and that as we get older, relationships should be looked at in a more "practical" manner.

Am I just an old romantic expecting butterflies etc. What's everyone else's opinions on dating? Should it be more business like?

If relationships should be looked at in a practical manner is it essential to you to have a relationship then? What would you gain from a 'practical' arrangement? If you are independant in every way then it seems foolish to give that up just to have the imagined 'ideal' of finding a man, because with all relationships come compromise, and why the hell should you compromise for 'practicality'?!

I would say there needs to be some sort of spark at the beginning but if that doesn't happen with a man then a full and rewarding life is still achievable through friends, hobbies, travelling etc. No one needs a man to complete them, they are so rarely worth it anyway.

Thank you. Yes that's sort of my view. I mean don't get me wrong I would genuinely like to be with someone who I really like and do nice things together, days out and I do like a bit of romance, without sounding too much like a fairy. I'm also fully aware I'm getting older and the biological clock is ticking, but again I want a child with someone I love, not just someone who looked good on paper.

I just think at the beginning you need the spark but other opinions seem to differ. I was just really wondering what others thought.

How did you meet these guys? Did they ask you out?
I was in a similar position to you and woke up one morning totally fed up of being asked out by dullards and knob heads. Someone caught my eye. I asked if he was single, he was, so I asked him out. We’ve been together six years, married for 5
4 year old DD.....

I think "dating" has always been businesslike, think about before 20th century, it has mostly been about suitability and arrangement. The butterflies are more of a myth, perpetuated by hollywood. And it does work when you meet people at work or at uni when you are young, but if you are 30+ and single, then yes, dating is a lot business like so better look at it as such.

Hey,the first chap I just met in a bar and got chatting,second was a blind date and third through mutual friends.

I'm not a fine of OLD I feel like you can never get a proper chat going.