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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Struggling with break up

2 replies

peapodder · 13/07/2018 13:57

My ex and I were together for four years, I'm now 22 and he's 25. We broke up almost three months ago because I raised my concerns about our future if he didn't make some changes to his finances/career. He's worked at a cheap chain pub for five years now, says he hates it but only started apply to jobs in February and had only applied for 5 by the time we broke up. He is constantly spending the very little money he has and so it's a constant financial struggle for him but would always complain we hadn't moved in together yet and he never has money for things and we'd very rarely go out. When I spoke to him about it it wasn't meant as an ultimatum or a break up I was just hoping it'd set a bit of a fire beneath him. A week later he dumped me.

I was doing alright with everything, cried my eyes out for a few weeks but was starting to pick myself up again when three weeks ago he texted me that we needed to meet up. He's got a girl pregnant, and not just any girl it's the girl that I didn't need to worry about, who had told him a year ago she liked him while she was in a relationship herself but he brushed my worries off. He said that as she had an ectopic last year and she believes this is her only chance at a family and so is keeping it and he is standing by her.

Again I cried my eyes out and finally today felt like things were going to get better when I got a notification on Facebook for a mutual friends birthday. I'd love to go but it's being hosted at the pub they both work at, I checked the invitation list and they're both invited. I saw she'd changed her profile picture and that he'd liked it and it's just torn me right down again.

I know I shouldn't have looked but I couldn't help it and I just can't stand feeling so worthless like this all the time. I know it will pass but right now everything is just so hard and I feel so betrayed. I don't really know why I'm posting this I guess I could just do with some advice.

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 13/07/2018 14:03

OP, it will hurt for a while. A few months probably, then one day it won't hurt.
I would not go to the party. In your position I would probably go on a holiday and have a nice time.
This guy was and is a loser. You are better off without him. You will meet someone else and you'll wonder what on earth you were thinking when you were 20ish.
You have your whole life ahead of you.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/07/2018 16:32

Of course you're feeling horribly. Break-ups are awful and the additional circumstances are just terrible. However, you have dodged a MASSIVE bullet in being rid of him. He truly isn't worthy of you, and I promise that once your head clears, you will be thrilled to have a bright future ahead of you. You'll get through this!

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