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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Texts from a married man

26 replies

Confusomuso · 13/07/2018 10:26

Married man is texting me after saying he wont because it would upset his wife.. but then still does. texts are very innocent he wants to be friends .. nothing more .. but why keep texting me? should i block him

OP posts:
TattyCat · 13/07/2018 10:29

should i block him

why wouldn't you?

category12 · 13/07/2018 10:30

Of course you should.

KinkyAfro · 13/07/2018 11:11

Course he wants to be friends

Confusomuso · 13/07/2018 11:55

because he is a nice person. and maybe there is nothing wrong if its just friends i just am confused because he said he didn't want to message me because he felt bad.. then keeps doing it.

OP posts:
KinkyAfro · 13/07/2018 12:01

Grow up ffs

Thebluedog · 13/07/2018 12:02

Block him

ThinkingCat · 13/07/2018 12:05

Don't reply to him.

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 13/07/2018 12:09

In the past a friend's dh tried to befriend me. It went sadly wrong when he sent me a dic pic for my birthday (wtf?). Blocked him and unfortunately felt I had to distance myself from my friend.
Block him op. You don't need him as a friend that badly.

SuperSuperSuper · 13/07/2018 12:19

Is he a longstanding platonic friend? This is ok.

or is he a brand new friend/someone from the past who's lost touch but recently popped up again? This is almost certainly something that should concern his wife.

LoveLifeLive87 · 13/07/2018 12:27

It will at some point become friends with BENEFITS!! Stay clear. He is a bored man and will use you as a fantasy but on the side!!
Feel sorry for his wife more than anything.

MagicFajita · 13/07/2018 12:35

Yes , block him.

We don't want to see you back here in a few months feeling guilty and confused because you've had sex with a married man.

It's basic selfcare op , don't get even remotely involved.

MagicFajita · 13/07/2018 12:38

That's every woman's dream birthday present , right? Confused

Arum51 · 13/07/2018 12:38

It would upset his wife. He's told you that. That he's still doing it is his (and her) problem. You letting yourself become the object of his fantasy is your problem.

Block him.

MagicFajita · 13/07/2018 12:39

Sorry meant to tag @Aprilshouldhavebeen myname

Alfiemoon1 · 16/07/2018 11:10

I am in the same situation except I am the wife. I initially had no problem with the friendship but then the level of contact started to annoy me so asked him politely to tone it down. Dh has now spent the last 2 years lying to me about any contact deleting messages shit stirring with his friend making me out to be a jealous nut case When I have no problem with his other female friends because he is upfront about it.
Did he say why it upset his wife ?
So yes I would say to block him

Alfiemoon1 · 16/07/2018 11:23

Does his wife know he is still messaging you I would be tempted to tell her then she can make an informed decision on her marriage
Then I would politely tell him you are blocking him as it’s obviously causing problems in his marriage and you don’t want to play any part in it

Shoxfordian · 16/07/2018 11:41

He doesn't sound like a nice person
Block him

Cambshusband · 16/07/2018 11:47

He’s married, it’s causing problems for his wife and he’s still sniffing about and you’re letting him?

It ought to be painfully obvious.

Ophelialovescats · 16/07/2018 11:58

Block....he's a twat!

Strawberrymelon · 16/07/2018 12:03

Block. It happened to me a few times in the past. I didnt understand it either. But from my experience it is because they want to be more than friends. Block him.

Icklepup · 16/07/2018 12:07

Block him it's just asking for trouble

Alfiemoon1 · 16/07/2018 12:15

He doesn’t sound like a nice person if he is repeatedly doing something that upsets his wife
I nip it in the bud asap before it goes to far. In my case he’s already left the marital home twice causing distress to our D.C. I have taken him back each time based on the fact he goes no contact he breaks it every time he won’t be getting a third chance.

He’s off to open his own bank account today then looking at renting a property 18 years of being happily married being thrown away by him because of a similar situation to yours. Will he regret digging his heels in and lying when he’s not even slept with her probably

Pantinker · 17/07/2018 11:41

In a similar situation but the guys wife doesnt know and he says he wants to be friends but continued to text every day (except weekends). Neither of us where very happy in our marriages but agreed to keep things as just friends. There is an attraction but we eventually stopped contact because we both knew it was wrong but.. yes it went on a while and wasn't about sex it was just general chit chat and caring type stuff..we got close which i guess is worse.

Attic14 · 17/07/2018 13:41

He’s not a nice person. A nice person doesn’t push boundaries like this

hellsbellsmelons · 17/07/2018 13:43

This one is easy.
'Look, you said this would upset your wife and no-one wants that. So stop the texts or I'll show her'
Job done!