I have become close friends with a female manager at work, we have both grown up in a similar dysfunctional/traumatic background and have been supportive to each other when feeling low about things and learning to heal from our pasts.
Some years back she began to confide in me that she was being harassed by another manager at work, being sent sordid pics etc. I tried to encourage her to report but she wouldn't. Then sometime last year she told me one of our married colleagues was stalking her, she sent me lots of screenshots of his messages which were very lovey-dovey. He was hanging around her like a lovesick puppy and we became a bit worried about her (she told quite a few people about it under strict instructions not to say anything to anyone - it was treated by her as a bit of a laugh). The guy went on long term sick so it stopped.
There were also a few issues in between where jealous wives were stopping our colleagues from coming on work social events (because they suspected something was going on) but it was laughed off as how can women be so controlling and neurotic?
Now she's been upset because her new bloke has dumped her. It's hit her hard and I've been a real shoulder to cry on, talking about what an arsehole he is, we've dredged over all our issues with our fathers and fear of abandonment etc. It's been quite draining but I've been happy to be there for her. She assured me I didn't know the guy.
Until yesterday when it has emerged that her new bloke was a married man at work and it's all blown up in their face. His wife and grown kids have found out and his marriage is over. Then the guy who she said was stalking has come out and said that they had an affair too and his marriage was over (he went long term sick when it ended).
Now I'm starting to wonder if anything she told me was true. Won't know about the picture message guy as he has left, and I'm guessing the 'neurotic wives' had a reason to be that way! I feel really gullible. I also feel like I've given a lot of myself over emotionally in being a good friend and I haven't even been told the whole story. I guess I feel like I've been trolled! I haven't messaged her or called her yet, since it's all blown up.
At the same time I'm also concerned for her - could this be like an addiction where she gets an addictive dopamine hit from pursuing married blokes? Should I try and help her before there's more destruction?
My overriding feeling is that I need to step back from the friendship, remain cordial with her as she is my manager but reestablish the terms of the friendship.
The men in question are also my colleagues and I'm veering from being disgusted with them for cheating and feeling sorry for them!