Should husbands have to fill out an application to go out?

[mollipops]

My dh bought this home as he thought I would appreciate it - little does he know I plan to use it from now on!

APPLICATION TO GO OUT AND RETURN LATE

Name of boyfriend/fiance/husband:
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:
Date: Time of departure: Time of return:

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below. Nor shall I speak to another female other than those listed without gaining verbal permission one hour beforehand. I will not turn my mobile off after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allocated volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi or ordering a pizza. I understand that even if permission is granted, my girlfriend/fiance/wife retains the right to be p*ssed off with me for the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Locations likely to be visited:
Females likely to be encountered:__

I am the low life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and agree it's not me. I promise to abide by your rules and regulations. I understand this is going to cost me a fortune in flowers and chocolates. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to sleep overnight on a park bench beside a tramp should I not return home by the time approved below. On my way home I shall not pick a fight with a person who only exists in my inebriated mind, nor shall I cinduct indepth discussions with the said entity. I understand that the wardrobe, cupboard, pantry, washing basket, fridge and dsihwasher are out of bounds with regards to urinating.

I declare that the above information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge (of which I have little compared to my better half).

Signed (Boyfriend/fiance/husband):_

..................................................
Request is APPROVED / NOT APPROVED

This decision is not open to negotiation other than on my terms and only applies to the date and times stated below.
Date: Time of departure:Time of return:__
Amount of alcohol allowed:
Strength of beer permitted:__

Signed (Girlfriend/fiance/wife):

[oxocube]

Mollipops - GENIUS!! Will print off a dozen copies straight away :

[WideWebWitch]

Mollipops, mine would also state "you will not do Borat impressions when you come in because they are not funny. Nor will you ring me 10 times between 10pm and closing time to tell me how much you love me since I know this already. And if I let you have a lie in the following morning you will do the same for me the next morning".

[Janus]

Mollipops, fantastic, laughed my pants off! Is it just me but I really don't mind if my partner tells me the day before, or couple of days before, he's going out but I HATE it when he rings at 6.30pm to say that he's just going to go for a few drinks with the office crowd (by which time he is meant to be imminently walking through the door)? I, rather horribly, say if he's going to go out for a couple of drinks at this time and obviously not be home for the bath routine (he usually does) then he can stay out for as many hours as he wants, just don't expect me to be speaking to you when you fall in, bounce off all the walls on the way up to the bedroom, pull off your bloody socks and put you to bed and then feel sorry for you in the morning!!!

[SimonHoward]

What a terrible waste of paper.

Yo actually thinks most men after a night out like you expect them to have will remember signing the form let alone what it says?

[batey]

WWW, on the ringing thing, my friends, 4 of them, went out recently and were phoned at least 3x each by dhs!! Nothing wrong with any of the kids!! But if you phone them when they're out,suddenly that's against the rules!!

[mollipops]

Tee hee Simon, somehow I didn't think you'd quite comprehend this one! But we dw's get it don't we??? And Janus I agree absolutely, these last minute "few drinks with the guys" drive me mad. At least forewarned is forearmed!

[susanmt]

LOL!
Also 'you shall not have a "wee practice lie down" on the bathroom floor, thus rendering the bathroom unusable for several hours as the door will be locked'
I'm sending this to ALL my female friends!!!

[PamT]

I think DH would like me to use a form like this or at least a checklist to make sure that I had sorted everything out for him before I went out. DH just tells me he is going out (which I don't mind because I get custody of the TV remote for a few hours) but when I want to go out, I have to organise everything, get the kids ready for bed, clean up and generally run round like a mad thing before I can even start to get ready. All this after having asked permission and making sure that it doesn't clash with his arrangements. I don't know why men make such an issue out of looking after their own children. That's not to mention the take away and new DVD that he has to have if I'm going for a major night out (major being 3 hours or so at a friend's house for pizza, plonk and a chat).

[Rhubarb]

Wondered where you had got to SimonHoward!

[oxocube]

PamT, we are living parallel lives .

[Tortington]

my hubby can go out whenever he wants
i dont stop him,
i dont argue about it.
... its when he wants to get back in its the problem!!! honestly he has slept in some strange places (the bushes in the centre of a rounda bout, the shed the list is endless)and if this suits him , it suits me.
the kids, rushing, tidying thing i dont do either, as far as im concerned they are his children as much as mine and if the house is a hole when i come back.. it remains a hole unless we all KIDS INCLUDED get stuck in.
this is all about respect and i respect him falling down drunk at the door with a half drunk bottle of bud in his inside pocket and a large donner kebab dripping garlick sauce all over the place, as long as he respects me going out getting falling down drunk turning up at the door with a friend some beers and incessant laughing til we collapse
i respect him and he respects me.
honestly the locking the door bit works.... no way would i accept him phoning from work and saying he is out on a bevvy as a regular thing, he can find a house and have the kids..... ill see them weekends and pay the CSA.. ( this last part frightens him no end it really does, being left alone with 3 kids for eternity) lmao!

[SimonHoward]

Rhubarb

Been off work for a couple of weeks and had some time away with DW and DD visiting friends.

Custardo

What you are suggesting as punishment for your DH should be banned by the Geneva Convention as being too cruel.

[Tortington]

i think emotinal turmoil inflicted by insensitive men if they do it on a regular basis.."just going for a couple of drinks"then at midnight falling in the door when you have been waiting for some adult conversation,cooked the tea, cleaned, done all the kid stuff... or later when the kids are older, if you have been working just as hard, if not more so IS against the geneva convention ( isnt that P.O.W btw?LOL)
anyway men are like dogs, they need training!

[MABS]

Hve just seen this thread - brilliant . I just hope there isn't a similar form for me to sign ...Mabs

[Rhubarb]

Or you could just put cling film over the toilet bowl

[Mooma]

Lol ks! I bet they really loved your confidence in them