I Initiated Separation, needing help to guide through the mess :(

[Voyager19]

I recently asked my husband for a separation. We stayed in the house together for a week, he slept on the couch. He went away for the weekend and when he came back he asked me not to end it, and that he wanted to work on things. We almost divorced a year and half ago, and I'm just so done now, I honestly don't think he can do a lot now. The part i'm really struggling with is that he's now living in our trailer, but still uses the house, eats with the kids etc. I'm not even sure if we can financially have two places, but i'm just so lost and I really would love to connect with some other woman (or men) who have experienced something similar. I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's so hard some days :(

So what was your longer term plan when you asked for a separation? Obviously you’re not prepared to work on the marriage (and that’s fine, everyone has limits) but does he know that?

Have you talked about finances - is there realistically enough in the pot for you to stay with the DC in the family home AND him afford somewhere to live? If not, you may have to sell up so you can both afford to rent or buy somewhere smaller each. Have you had the house valued?

Do you work? If not, how are you going to pay a mortgage / rent and the bills? Assuming you’re in the UK, spousal maintenance is limited now, and child maintenance won’t cover everything.

The trailer situation is not ideal but you can’t stop him “living” in the house until you’ve done the formal legal bit and sorted finances out so that’s what you need to crack on with now.