I feel trapped

[drypond]

Basically live with my partner of 6 years, really struggling at the moment, my health is very poor so I cannot work, I have 2 disabled children and a toddler, I am carer to one of them as he is severely disabled.

My partner as always drunk but he now cannot stop, he works cracks open a can as soon as he walks in, he lies about small things then won’t admit it when he’s caught out, he is abusive verbally, he demands hours and hours of sex that I don’t want but I just do it to make things easier, I few I can’t leave him because I feel so poorly my strength is at zero, he’s slowly cutting me off from things, last night he’s deleted my Facebook, he goes through my phone constantly yet I haven’t got his password.

I’ve asked him to leave but he doesn’t, we had 12months of him being brilliant and he went out last weekend and hes been a right knob since. I’m exhausted

I think you need to get in touch with Women's Aid OP. He is already abusive and his behaviour is escalating

I’m trapped if I leave we can’t financially go on, he pays the rent, he uses my illness against me he knows how poorly I am so he knows I’m anxious about having 3 children on my own yet underplays it when we are arguing, I have bowel disease and it’s basically wrecked my liver I’ve let things get out of control looking after the kids and now I’m trying to strengthen myself up but it’s hard. 😪 I have inflammation in my joints, I’m bruising up everywhere.

A friend as offered to help physically remove him from the home but I hate the feeling of violence

You sound depressed. Have you had help for that yet? CBT is quite good

You have asked him nicely to leave. Now get your friend's help.

You will find that your health and mental state improve dramatically once you are out of this situation. The most subtle part of this type of abuse is that it makes you fearful of improving your situation by fogging your mental clarity.

You will find coping without him far, far easier than coping with him.

You are already suffering violence...."Hours and hours of unwanted sex" is exactly that.
I hope you can find the strength to have your friend remove him.

Please get in touch with women's aid
0808 2000 247

Strength to you