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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

36 weeks pregnant and Husbant want divorce as soon as possible

8 replies

fvyara · 10/07/2018 21:08

So my case... I am 36 weeks pregnant with my second child and I have a son who is 6 years old. My husband want to separate as soon as possible. I am on maternity leave,. We are private tenants, we are both in the contract. We receive housing benefits, but they are on my husband's name. He is paying most of the rent and the utility bills. I'm giving him money, but he is responsible for the most expenses. I really don't know how this separation is supposed to happen. We were supposed to live at least another year together to figure out how to make this separation less painful for everybody. But it's too confusing to live like that. If he moved out, how am I supposed to pay all the rent and the bills. He will give me money for the children, but that's all, and I don't want anything else from him. Also we are not from the UK originally, so I have no one here, all of my family live abroad, so I will be all alone, I just have a few friends. I don't know what to do, am I going to manage to live here on my own as a single mum , or should I go back to my country... I feel lime my head is going to explode... My son has a better future here, and he has already forgotten his mother language and he will be able to see his father more often. I am so confused and on top of everything I have to think about the baby, I haven't prepared for this baby at all..

OP posts:
rollingonariver · 10/07/2018 21:12

I'm so sorry op, what an arse leaving you now.
Have you looked into benefits?

fvyara · 11/07/2018 08:06

I am sure I can get some benefits ,but will the government let me stay here with my children, in March my maternity leave is ending and I won't have any income.

OP posts:
emoji · 11/07/2018 08:21

Why wouldn't you be allowed to stay here after your maternity leave? Are you an EU or non-EU Ccitizen? Have you overstayed a visa (non-EU)? Is your husband EU or non-EU? What is his status in the UK?

fvyara · 11/07/2018 09:14

We are both ftom the UK, and we are employees here,but I was working for agency in housekeeping.

OP posts:
Crazybunnylady123 · 11/07/2018 09:31

If you went home to your family do you feel you would get better support?
If I was you I would definitely go and get that much needed support. You could start over and your boy would bounce back quickly with the rest of his family around.
I know that’s tough on your ex partner but your about to have a newborn and no emotional support.
Put yourself first.

Mary1935 · 11/07/2018 15:08

Hi call your local council and see if they have a tel number for Welfare rights - they are very good at telling you what benefits you will be entitled too. You would be given some I’m sure. Or go on google and look up Entitled To - you can put your details in there.
Re tenancy - you could speak to the land lord and see if he will let you stay on in your own name.
I’d actually see legal advice and look up your local housing rights - I don’t want to panic you but you are in a tricky situation with regards housing. Do not move out as you will be making yourself homeless.
Please seek housing advice ASAP.
Sorry your in this situation.

fvyara · 14/07/2018 23:07

I've decided to go back to my country, by the end of the year! I will definitely need the emotional support froemy family and friends! I can see clearly, that I can not expect any support from my husband once we separate officially. My heart and my soul are devastated from everything that is happening in my life right now. I was so excited for this pregnancy, to have another child, to grow our family... I am writing this, but I still cannot believe what my life has become...

OP posts:
CaledonianQueen · 15/07/2018 08:16

Where is your home country? Will you be entitled to benefits to help you financially there?

I would contact Citizens Advice Bureau and ask for help to find out what you would be entitled to financially. Between tax credits, child benefit, ESA, maternity allowance and housing benefit you may be better off in the UK. Especially with regard to nursery hours, if you are in Scotland, then free nursery hours from age two could be really helpful and give you the opportunity to work.

If however, the benefit system in your home country would make life easier then obviously the family support would help more. Good luck! I am so sorry that your awful husband is treating you like this!

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