How long does it really take to get ‘over’ someone

[Alittlelost1]

Thought I’d found the most perfect guy. Only dated him for 6 months (on and off) but owing to his own circumstances (including stress) we parted company last month. We don’t talk but I miss him soo much. I just don’t believe I’ll find someone that i want, as much. I miss him more than I did my previous partner and I was with him for years. Turning 30 has also really scared me..... it’s not too late is it?

If it helps, make a list of all of the things that were wrong with the relationship - if he was making you anxious you won't have been happy so sometimes putting the things down on paper helps to see how they actually impacted on you and to see other things that were also wrong.

Also it ended on his terms, and you said that you felt like a little girl around him, you were very into him but the relationship was on and off so he probably dangled himself in front of you when he wanted you around and withdrew when he was OK. It's not fair, but you were probably more into him than he was with you. However, you're young and single, and free to find someone that likes you as much as you like them, and when you find that person you might find that your infatuation with this guy is much clearer and you'll be glad that you only spent 6 months rather than 10 years waiting for him to want you enough to commit

He had a lot to offer (now) amazing looks, charm, very successful. I loved his family and he made lots of promises. However, he was arrogant, extreamly bad tempered, self assured and often rude to his family. It just amazes me that someone so wrong for me could take up so much of my head space. It annoys me so much xx

It's been 2 weeks for me. Together 7 months. I have deleted all contacts and photos. Gone back on tinder (oh dear) and wrote down every reason the relationship was wrong for me. We don't miss them, we miss the idea of who we wanted them to be.
One really important thing I have learnt through this is I need more for me. To see more friends, do the things I enjoy and be around good people. Concentrate on the important things!
One day you will wake up and get half way through the day realising you hadn't thought about him until then. It will become less and less.
You're young and free. Go and find someone who make loving someone and being loved 'easy'

Yes I forgot the list! Make a list of all his bad qualities and negative things in the relationship. Handwritten. Keep it and when you start missing him read it again. Every time.

I think it all depends on previous circumstances, i've just had things ended with a man I was seeing for 4 months, one day he's saying he hoped we would be in it for the long run then the next, he's 'holding me back' and doesn't even want to be friends.
I've had two previous long term relationships,both cheated on me - i'm pretty sure this is whats happened here too. I'm a wreck but I don't actually think it's about him, it's about the others too so is hurting more with all the memories.
Like others said, make the list! I did this and have almost 100 negatives things!
Take care OP xx

My ex left me after 4 years, at the beginning of June (so it's been just over a month).

For the first 2 weeks I didn't eat, I was suicidal.

My mum came round and literally picked me up off the floor. I truly believed that I had lost my soul mate, that I would be alone forever, I have never felt so low and I have suffered with depression since my teens.

My mum sat with me and told me I was looking through rose tinted glasses, and then went on to list all the concerns she had during our relationship (she never would have told me those concerns while we were still together) it was very helpful to see things from another perspective.

Then, I sat and wrote a list of every single thing that I disliked about him, every little thing. I re-read it over and over when I felt low.

Then I blocked him on all social media, deleted his number from my phone.

I went out that weekend and bought some new stuff for my house and cleaned it top to bottom.

Another thing that I have found so helpful is to write in a diary. Not every night, but whenever I feel a bit low. Write it down, then (and I found this so helpful) write down what your friends or family would say in response to it.

A month down the line and I am still sad that I am 33 and single again after being sure we were going to get married and be together forever.

But I don't miss him anymore 🤷

I thought it would take me months and months to get to this point. It takes time but you can help yourself along.

Also, when someone leaves it leaves a 'hole' in your day to do life. Start a new box-set. Re-read your favourite book. Take up all offers of company from friends, even when you don't feel like seeing anyone.