Strained family situation on my side of the family. Due to a messed up situation to my DGPs who live abroad DP is effectively seen as the bad guy but it's not standoffish and we are still welcome there IYSWIM.
It's too complicated to try and change their minds and attempting it would just open another huge can of worms and it's really not worth the aggro considering how rarely we see each other and we've pretty much accepted that's how it is and it won't really change.
DP does not speak my native language so he can't communicate with my DGPs anyway. We are going to visit them for a week before the end of the year (mainly for my elderly DGGM who has no idea of this rift happening) and I need advice on how to keep it light and breezy and come out ok.
We have two young DCs as lovely as my DGPs are due to the culture of "it takes a village" and general differences between the way we are and the way we parent vs the way they did it and don't seem to grasp it and judge it mostly negatively.
The British way of being is quite calm compared to the more open and expressive way my family are which again creates a weird impression as since I've adopted it (lived in uk most of my life) they seem to think I'm subdued and "not myself" when I'm perfectly happy - I'm assuming they also suspect DP being the reason of me being so "subdued".
Also they are very open about financial situations and finances in general to the point they know how much neighbours grown up children earn, how much they spend on XYZ etc and DP is from a completely different background where wages and how well or not well off someone is isn't really discussed and they consider his reluctance to discuss it (with me translating) very odd.
So how do I keep it light and breezy?
What should we avoid talking about?
What are good topics of conversation and where should I steer it if they start asking awkward questions without being rude?
They're my DGPs and I love them, not young anymore and we generally only see each other once a year so I'd rather it be on a positive note than negative.
Any tips appreciated.