stalker madness

[hayes]

I'll try to keep this short....

my dh works in a school, one of the PA members has been texting him regularly, funny texts, she texted him to wish him happy new year, she texts him to pass messages onto school instead of calling school office...that sort of thing. I know about all the texts since they started as dh told me about them.

Anyway, this person has a bad reputation in the village. Thing is it has got back to me that there is rumour going round that people think she and my dh having a fling. Now I know that not true, so spoke to dh told him what I had been told and we basically said he would now need to keep her at arms length, if she texts politely ask her to call school. He has spoken to headteacher too and she agreed this best course of action.

Well this person texted him twice last weekend, second text with a bit of attitude cos he not text her back. He saw her fri am in car, she waved he just ignored her, made no eye contact. So couple of hours later she text him saying are you not speaking to me, he text her back telling her rumour and asked her to remove his number from her phone.

Barrage of texts all day Fri, he did not reply to any of them. When he got home I text her to say these texts need to stop, they did. But she has also text my friend asking her for help with the situation.

any advice on where to go from here, she is a scary mary.....

sorry no advice...agree its scary tho, bloody hell!

I was stalked twice in my younger days (both times by older men) and it was bloody terrifying. My confidence is only now (2+years later) getting back up to an acceptable level, and I still hate situations where I am center of attention, or alone anywhere.

I don't know if contacting the police is worth having in the back of your mind if she texts again. They will take abusive texts seriously, and can do all sorts to the person sending them. Sorry I can't help more

Just ignore her she will soon realise what she is doing.

the friend she texted works for police and her dh policeman, they said to keep the texts if we need to do something about it. She had said she was coming to my house to tell me there no truth in rumour (which I know for sure) and said I was scared of her as she was single...... I see this woman at school and I am dreading bumping into her....also worried about her causing troubler for my dh at work....its a nightmare

It will be hard...but just continue to ignore her the best you can. Get DH to change his mob number and don't respond to any messages or texts. A response will just feed into her behaviour. Keep any texts she sends and good luck...it should pass

Is it possible that this woman is simply lonely, and not very thrilled at being treated like an insane pariah or a wicked husband-stealer by a bunch of busybodies? Small communities often fix on scapegoats and treat them horribly for no particular reason. While a barrage of texts can be a bit annoying, I doubt there's any need to fear her turning up with an axe of anything.

How come your dh doesnt bar her number on his mobile?

If it's really that awful, why doesn't he change his mobile phone number?
What help did she ask your friend for? What situation?
Perhaps your friend could spell things out for her, so there are no misunderstandings.

madamez - believe me she is not simply lonely. and agree I have no fear of her coming here with an axe The texts were abusive and many of them

anyway all quiet on the western front, I don't see why dh should need to change his number, surely if you ask someone to delete your number they should do as you ask...normal folk anyway.

just waiting for it all the blow over now

Hmmm, I agree it sounds reasonably innocuous, at least until she refused to stop texting him.

Hayes, given that your DH assures you he's not having a fling with this woman, and that the two of them are colleagues, is it not possible that the woman thinks the two of you are being rude in telling her she's not allowed to possess your phone number and must never contact you - just because of rumours put about by other people? Don't you think she might be justifiably insulted at being portrayed as an insane bunny boiler when she doesn't seem to have done anything more than be friendly?

I'm with madamez, it's all hideous small community nasty rumour - it's not actually true!

Isn't what's really true if you're honest is that you were uncomfortable with their friendship previously?

And you've said she has a nasty reputation - that's not a very nice thing to say.

It sounds like her texts have become abusive AFTER she's made a pariah by you two - how awful for her to know that people are talking about her and that she's lost a 'work' friend this week.

You know your husband hasn't cheated and that rumours about the two of them are just that.

If it were me I would have made her more of a friend and deliberately said to these small minded frankly nasty rumourmongers that 'You're not actually insinuating my husband is cheating on me are you' and not made it about her at all.

Even if she fancied him - he's the one that controls his cock