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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Unreasonable Request?

11 replies

lifesteeth · 27/05/2007 18:15

My partner has just slammed the phone down on me because I asked him not to come down next weekend. As I've said before he comes down every fortnight and it's this fortnight that the kids also go to their dads.

Anyway partner didn't come down this weekend as he had no money (doesn't stop him going on about wanting to buy a nintendo wii though) and he's not here next weekend as it isn't his weekend to come down (and he's at work) so he's due down again in 2 weeks time.

Anyway I was speaking to my aunt last night, I used to live with her and we've only recently started to see each other again, she said to me "next time (ex) has the kids why don't you come down to mine, we'll have a bottle of wine and a takaway and you can sleep over.." I thought it sounded like a great idea and so told DP that he might need to miss his next weekend too. He hit the roof and said he was being pushed aside...I explained that I only have the oportunity to go out once a fortnight when the kids go to their dads and I didnt think it was unreasonable to want some of these weekends to myself...he said "its not my fault you have the kids" etc...

So is it an unreasonable request to want some time to myself? ok so its going to be 4 weeks since we last saw each other but when he does come down we dont go out or do anything and he's always moangy...just one weekend while the kids are at their dads I'd like to do something other than have him here you know? am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
SuGaRCoAteDPoiSOn · 27/05/2007 18:18

nope, you're not being unreasonable at all. as you said you have limited free time to go and do things and need to make the most of it.

Have a lovely time and let him whine and moan all he wants

newnails · 27/05/2007 18:19

lifesteeth sorry have not put name change back yet but why on earth are you still with this guy, he seems to bring you nothing but misery, were you not thinking of calling it of with hima few weeks ago.

p.s could i just add how is d.s getting on just now, have things settled down at school.

elesbells · 27/05/2007 18:19

so it ok for him not to come but not for you to cancel him?? wat an arse! you go with your aunt and have a great time...tell him to play with his new wii whilst your away!

lifesteeth · 27/05/2007 18:42

He said he could come with me I'm not sure that's what she had in mind...boyfriend tagging along and I told him so only to be met with "you can see her anytime, I never get to see you" etc and then "why can't I go with you".

newnails - DS is getting on a bit better at school thanks he still wants to change schools though but I'm hoping we can last out until we move...

OP posts:
lulumama · 27/05/2007 18:51

you have posted a number of scenarios with him, when he has upset you, been unreasonable, childish or begaved badly....is it not time to call it a day? you don;t seem at all happy with him

GiantSquirrelSpotter · 27/05/2007 18:54

He is so obviously an arse

Ladymuck · 27/05/2007 19:07

Why doesn't he come down on a weekend when your kids are with you?

Juicylucytoo · 27/05/2007 19:16

ditto Ladymuck - sounds like he's getting everything his own way.

Stick to your guns and have a great night with your aunt.

lifesteeth · 27/05/2007 19:39

he works alternative weekends, I just feel like I'm constantly hanging on until the weekend before I have any kind of a life and I don't see why I should spend all my spare time with him.

OP posts:
madamez · 27/05/2007 19:49

Can't see why you want to spend any time with him? What's the advantage of having him come round, moan at you and not do anything interesting?

lou33 · 27/05/2007 19:55

i'd be finding more reasons why he couldnt come down for the next forever weekends as well

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