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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

freedom programme online

9 replies

freshprinceofbellend · 09/07/2018 18:06

has anyone done it?

is it worth £12?

inspired by yet another post on here of, not exactly terrible, but creepy and inappropriate behaviour, and a woman not knowing how to respond to it, I reluctantly recognised myself. when it comes to others' situations, or sticking up for my kids, or in my friendships with my female friends, I am confident and assertive, and just seem to know what to say. when faced with pisspoor male behaviour irl though, I seem to have real problems. I am 42 ffs, and you SO wouldn't think it of me. nothing majorly major btw, just low level stuff.

fuck it, I'll nc and do some examples. so, separated from dp last year and have dated other people. one would ignore my boundaries quite a bit but always with this vague airy fairy 'oh I didn't mean it like that' kind of vibe. took me ages to boot him. embarrassingly long. another was fucking slimy and sleazy and bullshitty and I could see through him massively but again, it took me an embarrassingly long time (not as long as the other fella tho thank god) to assert myself and give him the heave ho. my ex, meanwhile, regularly hacks my shit, been through all my whatsapps etc, often comes round and calls me a slag etc, or tries it on with me for a shag. sometimes he succeeds. I'm not proud.

I need to sort my shit out. what is wrong with me? I'm embarrassed for myself and I want to be a good example to my kids. my dd is coming up 12 and although I tell her all the time she doesn't have to take any shit off men or anyone else, I know to my utter horror that my actions tell another story. (for my children did not know about either of the men I was seeing since splitting with their dad, and ex and I try and have a cordial and amicable relationship, doing stuff together as a family still and so forth - but they do know we still argue sometimes)

sorry, this was meant to be a 'is the online freedom course worth the money' type thing, and it turned into a right fucking brain plop.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 09/07/2018 18:08

It definitely sounds like it'd be worth the money for you

freshprinceofbellend · 09/07/2018 18:12

hahaha yes I guess now it's written down it looks like a wise investment

thanks for your support! it took a lot for me to post about this, and you've been super helpful

hoping to hear from ppl who've actually done it who can recommend it vs other resources.

:)

OP posts:
AnxietyKilledTheDog · 09/07/2018 18:33

I'm thinking about doing this too :)

Have tried to email the coordinator in my area so I can attend the actual real life courses but ive had no reply yet. Just sent another email now!

Will let you know how I get on!

freshprinceofbellend · 09/07/2018 19:03

Oh good luck Anxiety

The thought of doing it irl makes me cringe. I don’t know why. This stuff’s kind of built up in my brain lately and i have no idea why. I feel guilty and ashamed, like wtf is that about? I kind of want to do it without anyone knowing, if that makes sense.

I really hope it’s useful

OP posts:
AnxietyKilledTheDog · 09/07/2018 19:05

I understand you.

I think doing it in real life makes it more 'real' and open. But I am willing to try it if it helps!

BatshitCrazyWoman · 10/07/2018 05:06

I'd be interested in hearing how good the online version is. The actual course isn't a possibility for me as I work full time (like many people, I imagine. An evening or weekend one would be good!)

AnxietyKilledTheDog · 10/07/2018 18:04

Are you sure there isn't an evening course in your area?

I have just joined an evening one, it starts at 5.15. Not ideal as I finish work at 5 buy doable!

BatshitCrazyWoman · 11/07/2018 05:55

There doesn't currently seem to be even a daytime one at the moment. I work in central London with an hour's comnute so 'evening' is 6.30/7pm for me. The course in my area (when I enquired previously) was 2pm - and a 40 minute drive right to the other side of the borough Sad

5.15 pm seems a really odd time - if you work 9 to 5 it'd have to be very close by!

QuentinSummers · 11/07/2018 07:23

You sound like you are giving yourself a very hard time op
Maybe just some counselling for you would help?

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