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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Bloody fb

27 replies

Weety100 · 09/07/2018 16:54

What would everyone make of there partner archiving a message on FB from another woman? He messaged her an hour after I went to work at 9 am she didn't reply till 8 pm an I was home. Nothing was said. Then she messaged again a week later . He hasn't replied to either I don't think but her message is on silent so it wouldn't make a noise like all his other messages. Why silent why archive,why message her then not talk to her? 😑

OP posts:
StrawberryLaces0 · 09/07/2018 17:21

Why not ask him. Only he knows

SoddingUnicorns · 09/07/2018 17:22

It’s not FBs fault he’s being sneaky. It’s his.

Why not ask him?

SuperSuperSuper · 09/07/2018 19:52

How does he know her? What do the messages say?

Original poster
Weety100 · 10/07/2018 07:53

Not a great deal but it's just odd. He put hope you are ok!!! She replied with yeah ran out of credit, but I was home by then so he didn't reply. Then she text again asking how he was. We are normally so honest with each other and tell when someone's text etc...
Nothing bad in message that was it just the fact they are not even friends on FB he archived them and her message on silent.

OP posts:
marshmy · 10/07/2018 07:53

have you asked him about it?

Original poster
Weety100 · 10/07/2018 08:50

No I don't want to cause an argument, it will be my fault for seeing it.

OP posts:
meowimacat · 10/07/2018 09:09

Ran out of credit sounds like he tried to contact her on her phone and she didn't respond so he used Facebook. Clearly now back to communicating with her through his phone which is why there aren't any more messages.

Keep an eye on him, confronting him now will not prove anything. Does he guard his phone usually?

meowimacat · 10/07/2018 09:10

I was dating/sleeping with someone for 6 months and wasn't on their Facebook as he liked to hide me and I fell for it. Sadly doesn't mean something isn't going on.

Cawfee · 10/07/2018 09:11

They know each other obviously so who is she and why does he care if she’s ok? Red flags! I’m smelling an affair. Find out who this woman is and ask her directly how she knows your partner

Emma198 · 10/07/2018 09:12

If they're not friends her messages will automatically go in to 'other', doesn't mean he's done it on purpose. Who is she? Do you not even recognise her name?

Original poster
Weety100 · 10/07/2018 10:06

It's been archived. No idea who she is

OP posts:
Original poster
Weety100 · 10/07/2018 10:09

He doesn't hide his phone at all. Gives it to me when I ask to borrow it. It's really odd. Yes why does he care if she is ok. If it was a normal message left in in box I would of just thought nothing of it.

OP posts:
SoddingUnicorns · 10/07/2018 10:22

If they’re not friends on Facebook it will have gone into the “other” folder which makes it look archived.

If she’s a friend why wouldn’t he care if she was ok?

Unless there’s a lot more behind this I can’t understand why you’re so pissed off OP.

Original poster
Weety100 · 10/07/2018 10:27

It's because he's not mentioned it, it's been removed to archive box and it's on silent just for her

OP posts:
NorthEndGal · 10/07/2018 10:31

I would ask him

SoddingUnicorns · 10/07/2018 10:31

Then you need to talk to him about it, otherwise you’ll never get to the bottom of it.

Has he given you reason to doubt him before?

Original poster
Weety100 · 10/07/2018 10:35

Yes and no he has kept something from me before messaging his friend of 15 years and deleting them because he thought I'd go mad. As it turns out I was right and she was trying to split us up. But all that's open and in the past.

OP posts:
SoddingUnicorns · 10/07/2018 10:37

Why won’t you just ask him? It’s obviously bothering you and surely you can’t just ignore it if it’s upsetting you so much?

Original poster
Weety100 · 10/07/2018 10:41

I'm scared to ask o guess yes it is really bothering me

OP posts:
SoddingUnicorns · 10/07/2018 10:43

Hasn’t he noticed that you’re upset/distracted?

I don’t know OP, I couldn’t live with worrying and not saying anything but I guess it’s up to you. Trust and respect are really important to me in a relationship.

Original poster
Weety100 · 10/07/2018 11:00

Yes he's notices I'm quiet

OP posts:
Zaphodsotherhead · 10/07/2018 11:17

If it will be my fault for having seen it, then you have bigger problems with your relationship than him getting messages.

SoddingUnicorns · 10/07/2018 11:49

If it will be my fault for having seen it, then you have bigger problems with your relationship than him getting messages

I agree with this tbh. Are you happy with him OP?

Original poster
Weety100 · 10/07/2018 12:57

Over all yes I thought we both were. Maybe I'm reading too much into it

OP posts:
Fivelittleduckies · 10/07/2018 13:07

I would raise it with him directly- if you’re already acting visibly quiet/upset it’ll end up all coming out in the wash anyway...

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