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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

haircut from hell

4 replies

Foreverhassled · 09/07/2018 14:50

Can someone please help me before i pay a solicitor a small fortune. I have been separated from my sons father for over 10 years, we were never married but he has parental responsibility.
He was and still is a very controlling and manipulative person.
Over the years the access arrangements, which were every weekend have chopped and changed and dwindled down to every other weekend because "he needed a life" and the arrangements have only ever been to suit his lifestyle and job. I have actually lost a job in the past because of these changes.
I am happy with the current arrangements apart from a few certain aspects and I need someone to advise me as to what i can and cant do about it.
Firstly, the every other weekend 'life' debacle is now his wife and i am forbidden from meeting her, dropping or collecting my son from their home, speak to her etc, I have on numerous occasions offered to have them over for tea to show a common bond to my son (who is now 13) and to meet my partner etc but it is always met with hostility. I have asked why and am always told she is non of my business and doesn't want to meet me. i have emphasised the fact that I have a right to know the person who is in the company of my child and I am told, in no uncertain terms to keep my nose out of his business.
Secondly, and the title of my thread, i have made my feeling very clear to my sons father about not wanting our son to have a shaved head haircut. for a start is it against school regulations and also because i think he looks like a thug and don't like it. he has beautiful blonde hair and although my barber uses clippers around the sides, i ask for it to remain semi long on the top and brushed to one side. very neat. not like the bald buzz cut his father insists on taking him for. i have mentioned this on several occasions to him when he has returned our son and i have had an apology once and was told it wouldn't happen again. It has happened again this weekend.
I am at a loss as to how i can stop this from happening. My son is afraid of saying no to his dad and i don't want to put him in a position where he has to.
Can anyone give me some advice..... im pretty desperate
Thank you in advance

OP posts:
tabularasa35 · 09/07/2018 15:37

At 13... what does your DS like? And he needs to voice it.

Thingsdogetbetter · 09/07/2018 15:40

Isn't your son old enough to decide on the haircut he wants at 13? You've talked about the cut you want him to have and why you like it. How about your son? Any chance he actually wants the shaved look?

Guiltypleasures001 · 09/07/2018 16:33

I agree with the previous poster, your sons 13 he gets to,decide his hair cut and regardless if your ex is an arse or not, you have no rights to,know who he's with.

Your son is not a toddler in fact he decides at his age if he wants to see his dad or not

EstrellaDamn · 09/07/2018 16:36

Can't he go to the barbers by himself? That would solve it surely!

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