My husband had a child with another woman

[Brokenwife]

I am feeling disgusted and horrible after learning thus horrible truth about my husband.
He is having relationship with another woman and had a child..He even gave the child the family name and registered himself on the certificate.
He did it all smoothly while I was at a different country waiting for our daughters visa sorted. We came to know the bitter truth. He admitted it but I hardly trust him. He is the greatest cheater I have ever known. I have 2 children (boy and girl).
Very very lost...

Jesus - what an awful human being he is.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Is it a possibility for you to leave? What support do you have?

Is this the end of your marriage then?

Oh what a dreadful shock, I'm so sorry

Do you have a plan?

You cant control him; he has demonstrated that he has no respect for you , your children or your marriage. What are YOU going to do ?

I'm so sorry that is awful. I don't think I could ever get past a betrayal like that, he has lied for atleast a year (if they were only together shortly before a pregnancy), and has been supporting her through a pregnancy behind your back.

I am still very lost and broken..not sure what to do? He promised he will not go back to any of it, but, How would I trust him? He is lying that he did not sign his affair baby birth certificate when he did (I have a copy). My children absolutely love him and I am very worried about their future.

Of course you are worried and emotions must be all over the place, shock, disbelief, fear, hurt.

Take some time to process.Tell someone close to you, do not keep his secret out of loyalty.

Most people could not fix a marriage after this so don't let him minimise it.It is truly shocking and you are allowed to feel very angry.

He promised he will not go back to any of it

So he's going to abandon his child? Nice guy

Your children can still love him but it doesn't have to be in the same house. A broken mother is disastrous for them on every front.

I'm so sorry for this dreadful shock

My heart goes to you. It is the most dreadful lasting consequence to his betrayal. No matter what you do there will be a constant trigger/reminder of his betrayal. The worst is that this trigger is an innocent child. I can imagine what devastating news this has been to you. And if I read correctly between the lines you and your kids might be new migrants to the UK and financially totally dependent on him...It is so tough...I don't know what to advise...I would say that I see it as very encouraging the fact that your kids love him and that he willingly assumed that he is the father of the other child...oh dear ...do you have family? Can they help you with the kids and the everyday stuff to give you time to grieve and reflect ? Do you go to churches? Can you get some sound advice and spiritual support there? (BTW did he disclose on his own the affair and the birth of the child? Who told you about it? Who showed the birth certificate? Is the mum from your community? If it is a community "affair" maybe you can get help within the community...do your beliefs allow for polygamy?..if course the answers to all these questions do not make all of it less painful but they might indicate where you can get help and what can help you heal...

So he's going to abandon his child? Nice guy

My thoughts exactly

OP dont play the pick me dance, get shot of him

There’s a child. He’s even on the birth certificate. He can’t make any promises about not going back to it!

Well this kid is innocent and needs him. The kid and OP are the main victims here...and maybe even more the kid than OP...so OP if your rebuild your marriage for various reasons (reason 1: he is a great dad and the kids love him-that is what you said) then he will have to be in contact with the OC...he will have to meet the OW how and when. This has to be decided between you etc good luck

Is this the husband that gave the child of his affair the same name as your son? Do the children know yet?

This sounds familiar...

How did you find out?

What did you, when you were in similar position?

Children does not know yet..they are too young for this (5 and 3). But I have a feeling that my son is picking up the energy!! He is a great dad because that is how I portrayed him to the children- do I have to keep up with this lie for the rest of our life. If we decide to move apart I am sure he will let go of our children (this is based on his character) at some point it is going to break their hearts and they might think it is their fault!

I found the birth certificate online and ordered a copy of it. still waiting for full copy. He even lied to me this morning about signing the birth certificate but couldn't continue it because now he knows I have seen it! He even sent her flowers last Friday, when we are still discussing this since last Monday.
We are not new immigrants, I have been living in UK since 12 years and have z strong career, I just need to get back to it. I had to resign the job and go to stay in home country while we were waiting for my daughter's visa. Which took 2 years, came back as a family 3 months ago. He pushed me our off the country to deliver the baby in home country when I was 35 weeks pregnant!! I took a year off maternity. Came back without my little girl so I resigned the job and me and my son went back to stay with her. At least I did hold onto my children all along. He destroyed everything I made myself !!