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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Not sure what to think.sorry but it's long

10 replies

madmommy · 27/05/2007 12:24

I need some advice please.Me and dh are good friends with the couple next door.We see them every day,go out together,talk for ages,and dd's are best friends.Then just after mother's day on the wednesday,my friend told me her dh had decided he was leaving her.Big shock she had no idea anything was wrong.He said he had felt like that since november.Anyway my problem is my ds who is 19yr spends alot of time round there.I have asked both of them if he was in the way ect and both said no.She is glad he was there,my ds was a shoulder to cry on for her.He would knock every night to check everything was alright.Now he spends most of his time there,saying he sleeps on the sofa.We have joked that he is her toy boy she is 31,but i'm starting to wonder if there is anything going on.I have said afew times things like age doesn't matter ect,but they say they are just friends.Do you think i should ask my ds out right or leave them to it.Her dd's don't know he sleeps there.

OP posts:

singingmum · 27/05/2007 12:28

I think you just need to let them tell you if their is anything happening.If you ask he may see it as you interfering in his life and that could lead to arguments.
If their is something going on he will tell you eventually,but for now maybe just let them work out if anything is going on.They may not even realise it themselves one way or another

princessmel · 27/05/2007 12:30

It does sound like something is going on.

Would you be ok about it if there was?

Was your ds spending a lot of time there before the dh left?

Original poster

madmommy · 27/05/2007 12:35

He spent alot of time there before her dh left,but even more now.I honestly don't think he left because of my ds.And no i wouldn't be bothered if they were together as long has they were happy.

OP posts:

Original poster

madmommy · 27/05/2007 12:35

He spent alot of time there before her dh left,but even more now.I honestly don't think he left because of my ds.And no i wouldn't be bothered if they were together as long has they were happy.

OP posts:

pickledpear · 27/05/2007 12:36

she will be flattered by his attention after husband left her self esteem low and he will be liking the fact older woman want him so yes something is going on she will come to her senses and see it wont work it is infatuation on both sides
but hey at least you know where he is and unlike some not getting into too much trouble he is over age just sit back and ride it out the more you interfere the more they stick heels in and stay together it wont last

princessmel · 27/05/2007 12:37

Well I'd just try and leave them for a while and see what happens. Even though I'd find that really hard. I'd have to know what was going on.

You sound very understanding.

Hopefully they'll tell you soon if something is happening. maybe she's worried what you'd say.

princessmel · 27/05/2007 12:38

How do you know it wont last and is an infatuation pickled pear? We don't even know if anything is happening!

pickledpear · 27/05/2007 12:40

ok IMO if there was anything going on -- is that better

Original poster

madmommy · 27/05/2007 19:57

Thanks ladies.I think i just want to know.lol.They have been together all day,and her dd's are at their nan's,they slept the night last night and again tonight.I just don't want people to think bad of them.To look at them they look the same age and enjoy the same things.Has long has the girls don't get hurt i'm not bothered.I just wish they would tell me.lol.I only stand to gain.(a DIL and 2 SDD's)

OP posts:

Original poster

madmommy · 28/05/2007 11:58

Ds popped in home for 2mins last night to say they were going to the cinema at 10 o'clock.Perhaps they are just good friends but she cooks and washes for him.lol.They spend all their time together.I have said i'm going to put his baby brother into his bedroom because he is never here anyway,and he said that's ok.He would have moaned before.

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