Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I worry that he hasn't asked me to family weekend ?

7 replies

Tinkerbellx · 08/07/2018 13:10

Dp and I have been together almost 18 months .
I'm 45 he's 41 .

Everything is going really well and I think we're both on the same page hoping for a future together .
He has parents who live 300 miles away and after almost a year I was getting a bit worried as he hadn't introduced me at all to any family .
Anyway no need to worry he did eventually ask and we spent a lovely weekend with his parents . Seemed to go well and she sent me a small gift last time he visited alone .

The other person he talks about a lot is his brother who is also pretty much his best friend .
His brother has had to move to Dubai for 2 years with work but is flying home this week . There's a family get together and he's told me he's going next weekend. .
I felt a bit upset that he didn't say we were going together as he's talked about his brother so much I'd love to meet him .
Then he said if you don't want me to go darling or have plans I'll won't go . Of course I said don't be silly he's your brother .... I'll miss you but go and see him and enjoy !
Now he knows I have he children next weekend but still .... an i being unreasonable to have at least wanted him to say your v welcome to come but it might prove difficult ?
The thing is I love him and love introducing him to the people that are important in my life .so guess I just worry that he doesn't feel the same .

I should just ask him I know and we do communicate well . It would have been nice to have been asked without a kronor though !
Or am I completely overthinking ( am v tired today ) and should I just shut up and look forward to hearing all about it ?
Sorry to waffle .

OP posts:
Daddystepdaddy · 08/07/2018 13:17

Please ask him now, men are not mind readers. He has clearly picked up that you aren't happy but has misinterpreted it and you've currently gone along with that. He probably hasn't even thought about it and flights to Dubai aren't the cheapest. What is the accommodation situation like? Can you rearrange the kids?

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/07/2018 13:19

You’re not waffling at all and I can see why you’re a bit upset. Ideally he’d have said he hasn’t seen his DB for ages and is looking forward to a proper catch up and telling him all about you and next time he visits he’d love the two of you to meet.

It’s unsettled you so it’s worth mentioning and in the above sort of approach “hope you have an amazing time, I’d love to meet him next time as I’ve heard so much avoid him, send my best”.

The weirdest thing is him saying he’d be happy to miss seeing brother?! Did he mean it? One of my siblings lives abroad and nothing keeps me from them when they’re here! Every minute is precious.

confusedscared2018 · 08/07/2018 13:20

Maybe he doesn't want the children to go and knows you have them but didn't know how to say it? Ask him if he would like you to get a sitter and go with him

loveyoutothemoon · 08/07/2018 15:46

Sounds like he wants a boozy weekend with him or just time to concentrate on him. I wouldn't have a problem with it.

sadie9 · 08/07/2018 15:55

If it was my sister who I was very close to, I wouldn't want my boyfriend coming along with me. I'd prefer to be on my own so we could have a lot of time together just the two of us. If my boyfriend was there, I'd have to 'mind' him.
I'd have no problem with him going on his own. He'll only have one weekend with a brother he loves who lives a long way away.

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 08/07/2018 16:12

It sounds like he just wants some time with his brother. Ask him though if there was a reason you weren't invited or was it just that it's special time with his brother - which of course is completely understandable (as if that is the case you don't want to make him feel bad for wanting it).

Tinkerbellx · 10/07/2018 15:21

Thanks everyone .
Daddy you were right it never crossed his mind with me having the children and an interview pending .... immediately said I was more than welcome but we were limited with bedrooms as brother bringing children too .
I've packed him off to go enjoy spend some him time with his family without me .
It's probably what he wanted anyway if I'm honest or let's face it he would have asked if I could juggle it, but that's okay too .
At least he knows I'd like to see him maybe next time .
When I'm tired I do just over think.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread