Me and my partner have been together for a few years on and off. Within this time we have had many issues, he has mental health problems which he resorts to alcohol, and with this there has been a LOT of lies involved.
We split around a month ago as I just couldn’t take any more. He will lie about anything and everything, but mainly it comes down to drinking. After about a month he we spoke on the phone and yet again I forgave him and things went back to normal.
We’re now 3 weeks on. He came round last night and everything was fine. I then told him that one of my friends had messaged me saying they had something to tell me which involved him. From then on he was acting very odd so I could tell something was up. After pushing him to tell me he eventually said that a week after splitting he slept with someone else.
After hearing this I went absolutely crazy, I was and am so hurt. I know we was technically not together so he has not cheated I just cannot stand the thought of this happening and me not knowing about it.
I know I shouldn’t of but I ended up being violent towards him and said I never wanted to speak or see him again. The thing which is really getting at me is the lies. He was very interested in knowing if I had been with anyone since we broke and who is spoken to etc. He still asks frequently if I’ve spoken to any males even on a friendly basis which I have been and always am very upfront about. When I have asked him back he has always sworn he never did anything. We also went to the clinic when we got back together to get checked, and when I asked him about his sexual partners he said the last time he slept with someone was before we had anything going on. But I’m actual fact it would have been a week ago at this point.
I am absolutely done with all the lies and crap that comes out of his mouth. He seemed quite shocked that I was put out by this, and played it down saying he had to lie otherwise he knew I would act like I did.
After trying to make everything work for so long, I feel exhausted. I really thought he had come clean on everything. I am a very open person so it baffles me how some people can lie through their teeth and then have the cheek to say they’re sorry and they love you.
The worst part is after all the crap I’ve taken of him I end up believing that I’m thinking to much into it and throwing him away. I just need someone to talk some sense into me. I know he will not change, this has been clarified, but I cannot help to feel sorry for him and blame myself for overreacting.
If you have any words of wisdom it would be appreciated!!