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Original poster

money for sex

10 replies

fuckingfedupagain · 07/07/2018 21:05

Probably not in the right section but here goes.
A friend of mine recently told me that she asks her husband for money after sex. I initially thought she was joking but she's serious.
She has no children and is in her 40s.
She recently has been spending money on herself, things like getting her teeth fixed or hair done (and i suspect some work done on her face).
I commented that she looks amazing and this is when she told me that for the past year she asked her DH to give her money if he wanted to have sex with her as she wanted to save up to have all this stuff done and she has no other way of saving enough money.
I was Shock shocked to say the least, I know they haven't been getting along for a while and she's asked for a divorce in the past but her DH wouldn't give her one. They still care about each other and to be honest I think my friend is afraid of being alone and has no confidence in herself.
She works part time on a very low wage too.
My friend thinks I'm being silly for being shocked as according to her sex is never free and since her DH stopped taking her out or even being kind to her a long time ago then he can at least help her save up if he wants sex.
This is not normal is it?
This isn't like her at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
fuckingfedupagain · 07/07/2018 21:33

nobody thinks this is weird but me?
am I missing something?
Starting to imagine all the stuff I could've bought now if my DP had paid me each time.

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 07/07/2018 22:11

Depends how much she's charging. I get £150 an hour for my premium service.

If she's able to "perform" sexually then she'd be better off becoming an honest sex worker and find independence that way. She'd probably earn more as well.

Tiredmum100 · 07/07/2018 22:14

She might be on to something. (Joke). No I find it strange too, but then I'm in a happy relationship. It's sad really. I'm quite new to mn but I'm amazed at how many people are stuck in unhappy situations. I really wish people could see their self worth and not put up with so much crap. I guess your friend is trying to make the best of a bad situation. Why can't she divorce him. Can you not divorce someone if they refuse?

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/07/2018 22:17

Wow.

He can’t refuse her a divorce.

Original poster
fuckingfedupagain · 07/07/2018 22:21

I don't know what she's charging I kind of shut the conversation down as I felt uncomfortable.
I don't think she'd ever work as a sex worker as she waited until she was married to have sex and she still goes on about how she wishes more people would! That's also why I found it shocking, but the fact no one else on here seems shocked makes me think I'm overreacting.

But hey £150 an hour? not bad!
* runs off to hand in notice at work *

OP posts:
Original poster
fuckingfedupagain · 07/07/2018 22:27

yes I think that's what it is tiredmum . she's definitely not been happy for a long time and I know she can still divorce even if he refuses but like I said I think she is scared to be alone and she doesn't realise what she is worth. She's gorgeous (really actually stunning) and funny and intelligent but shes said in the past to me that she fully expects to be completely alone for the rest of her life if she leaves her DH.
I guess she is making the best out of a bad situation but that makes me so sad for her.

OP posts:
HarryLovesDraco · 07/07/2018 22:29

Sounds like they have a very dysfunctional and sad marriage; he may well be financially abusive and she's doing what she can to make it work for her.
So no, of course it's not normal, but that doesn't mean she needs judgement or unkindness. Maybe some sympathy and understanding? It's clearly not sex she would choose to have if the dynamic was different, that's a horrible situation to live with

Original poster
fuckingfedupagain · 07/07/2018 22:47

I wasn't judging her I just didn't know what to think of it.
Why would her DH agree to it though?
They sometimes seem very caring of each other and other times I'm around them they're arguing and and can't stand to even look at each other.
Her DH is a nice friendly man but clearly I don't know either of them as well I thought.

OP posts:
falsesmile · 07/07/2018 23:46

Yes. It's weird. Weird the husband actually agrees to pay her too. He might as well book a prostitute if she's in it with no feelings, no love and doing the deed purely for financial gain. Each to their own though. Odd but people are odd. Only have to read mumsnet to find that out!!

Original poster
fuckingfedupagain · 08/07/2018 09:17

people are odd indeed.
my friend didn't seem bothered that I shut down the conversation.
I'm going to tell her that I'm here should she need to talk about anything.
Sounds like her marriage is worse than i thought.

OP posts:
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