*sit on thumbs* how long to leave it?

[Sillysausage12345]

Evening guys,

Feeling a little bit low this evening, it’s beautiful out and everyone in my social circle seems to have plans. Oh well I’ve done a bit of poo picking (horses) and now laying infront of the fan to cool down. Messaging MN to stop
Me from sending silly texts.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I met this lovely guy in London, I did something which I have NEVER done or even contemplated but I kidnapped him back to mine where we spent the night, nothing happened, he didn’t try anything, he was a complete and utter gentleman... only I had to drive him
Back home to next day which was an hour away....

Kept in fairly regular contact since, he works a lot, big social group, always doing something.

He came over to mine last Thursday and we had pizza, wine and generally a lovely evening. He’s been out the night before was feeling bit delicate and I said we could rearrange if he wasn’t feeling his best but no, he came over, we dtd although I had in my head I would try and wait a bit longer but I just feel so comfortable in his company. I hadn’t had sex got over 6 months before this so I was a little nervous, he knew this.

Anyway, he spent the best part of Friday here just lazing around, he had a meeting at 1pm so left about midday. All fine. However I’ve not heard anything from him since and I don’t want to text and cave in and I SO didn’t want him to be the rule but the exception.

I feel a bit rubbish with the whole thing as although you can’t possibly know someone within the first few meetings and over text I just didn’t get that vibe from him. On the first meeting he declared his love for me and proclaimed he was going to marry me, he even saved himself as husband in my phone. There was just a connection there that I don’t want to ruin!

We chatted about his mates, family, past ex’s, he showed me where he works and I just sooooooo don’t want to listen to the negative voice in my head.

I’ve had a shit couple of years and have lost all confidence and self esteem and completely screwed it with my last “bf” because he was sooo full on and I freaked out so I’m trying to stay calm and collected but this is all new to me and I have NO idea what to do or what to say and when to say it.

Him not contacting me Is fine, it’s just how long do you leave it before you leave it you know????

Thanks guys this is what I need a good reality check, I’m so useless at this and not to know what’s the done thing and normal.

I wouldn’t say needy is the right word, and I certainly don’t need a restraining order, I only ever reply I never contact first, I’m just lacking in confidence so please there is no need to get mean.

Like you all say if anyone is interested then they’ll be touch, a few days isn’t a big deal, I mean I know I’ve done it to guys in the past so we’ll see.

Hope everyone is enjoying this weather!

It’s been a long time since I’ve really felt comfortable with someone so please bare with me, I need some guidance. I’m not some weirdo who can’t control my thumbs but I have no idea what is expected or done as it’s been a couple years since I’ve dated. All believe me it’s all changed in that time!

I was so young when I last had a long relationship and he literally took control of everything from the word go so I’ve had to find my own way since we broke up. I’ll get there I’m not going to go mental if nothing comes of this of course I’ll be disappointed but it’s not the end of the world, it’s only a set back.

On the first meeting he declared his love for me and proclaimed he was going to marry me, he even saved himself as husband in my phone

What. The. Actual...

Well, that must have clearly worked in the past as that's probably his party piece. Cringe

I don’t actually think he was serious it was a joke... maybe it was you kind of had to be there moment but I certainly didn’t take it as gospel.

Yes of course it was a joke, but an odd thing to do. I've dated some chancers in my time but if a guy was to do that, I would have given him a raised eyebrow, connection or not.

Silly if it makes you feel better I met a guy once who declared he was going to marry me the night we met, and stayed over (no sex, but lots of other stuff ). He wanted my number, although I knew he was a total player, and I laughed and told him he wouldn't call/text me. He swore he would.

As expected, heard nothing, got on with my life. I was a bit of a social butterfly in those days, so actually met another couple of guys over the next couple of weeks and exchanged numbers

Two weeks after meeting, player guy texted me asking to meet up! I couldn't remember what he looked like, but he had left something at my house (deliberately?) so I agreed to meet him for a quick drink and hand it over. That was 19 years and 3 children ago, we are still together! He didn't text me immediately because he knew he was going away with work, and wanted to wait till he could come and meet me.

So your guy could be a player or he might be busy! Don't hang around waiting, but no need to delete his number and forget him just yet!

Ahh thank you that’s lovely to hear about your story Platypus, time will tell indeed x

Yeah I did scoff a bit at the marriage comment but we were all well oiled by that point but did think it was a bold remark to make given you hardly hear of people declaring their intentions like that.

I’ve got parents of friends who have said that they knew as soon as he/she walked into the bar on the first meeting but I mean that’s only one or maybe two that can say that and for it actually happen.