Husband doesn't want sex with me anymore

[ExpectingToFly]

Hello
Me and my husband have been together 10 years (married for 5). At the beginning we had a great sex life although he is very shy and not confident in the bedroom. I was the opposite so in the beginning I took the lead and didn't mind. He was always up for it when I did instigate. I used to ask what his fantasies were and likes dislikes but he said none and I genuinely believe him.

He is such a nice guy, believe me he is unbelievably sweet. He had slept with about 4 girls before he met me and only had one one night stand which he didn't like.
I used to have such a high sex drive but as the years have gone by I literally have nothing left. I don't even wanna have sex anymore and we've reached an 'impasse'.
We have 3 children and the youngest is 3 months we've not had sex for about 10 months. He hasn't even tried since the birth.
I love him so so much he is the best father and he takes care of me.
I think he is very repressed? He would never go to counselling.
I'm so stubborn I don't want to try any more times either I feel so unattractive and disgusting.
We've talked about this a thousand times and have the same argument over and over again
He said he'd be happy never having sex again.

He does masturbate 2 or 3 times a week
Anyone in the same boat? Did anyone make this work?
Thanks for reading and sorry for the bad punctuation, grammar and typos

If he’s mastabating he wants some sexual action
Maybe something happened to him to make him not want aex with a women ?
Do you think he may have low terestrone ? He can have a blood test to see ?

I think it’s low testosterone from your post. That’s seriously low level masturbation

Sorry am I misunderstanding? You say he doesn’t want sex but in your OP you say you don’t want sex either? Sounds like you’re both in the same boat unless I’ve got that wrong?

Yes if you don’t want to have sex and he doesn’t either what’s the problem? Sounds like perfectly matched sex drives

Are you both just exhausted having three kids with one just a newborn?

If you're not feeling sexual at the moment then I'm not sure it needs to be a problem - once your youngest is a bit older and you're not both exhausted perhaps your sex life will be rekindled.

So you are fed up of always initiating?

Masturbating three times a week is "low level"?

I have no issue with it but if it's more than that surely it's replacing at least some physical contact with a partner?

I wouldn't have time to masturbate three times a week let alone more

You have a 3 month old. It's pretty normal for you to not have much of a libido at this point. If you've no desire, why is it a problem if he's not initiating?

ExpectingToFly I would love to know what happened after you started this thread. I’m in exactly the same position. None of the replies above are helpful to my situation though. Might have to start a new thread...by copy and pasting yours!

He may be terrified, subconsciously, of you getting pregnant again.

I'm not sure what to suggest OP.

He doesn't want to have sex with you and won't seek help.
You've tried talking about it many times with the same result.
Your self esteem has suffered and the rejection has caused you to no longer initiate.

Options:
Open relationship. You stay together and have lovers outside the relationship
You split up and co parent
You don't have sex for the rest of your life