Paranoid or fizzling out?

[MozzchopsThirty]

I've been dating my neighbour for 3 months
It's been amazing, we get on well, have a laugh. Last month he took us away for 4 days on holiday.
And last week we booked another for 2 weeks time.

Last weekend he moved out. Only 10 minutes away and I've still seen him tues, weds & thurs.
However I've felt like the texts have become less frequent although I think that's my insecurities.

Last night he went out, plan was for him to phone me for a lift home and I would stay at his house. He said it wouldn't be late 9.30 10 ish.
So I didn't drink, packed a bag, and he eventually called at 11.40 saying he hadn't realised the time and was i in bed. I said I was and he asked me to go round for breakfast this morning.

There's just such a difference, he normally drunk texts me telling me how much he fancies me or wishing I was out with him. Last night nothing.

So what do you think?
And do I go over this morning or play it cool?
The earliest we can see each other next is Tuesday. It's weird as we normally see each other 4/5 times a week

I think for a three month relationship what you have had is pretty intense, probably due to living in such close proximity. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions, I also wouldn't be waiting around for him to click his fingers iyswim, just see how it goes.

Was he apologetic for keeping you waiting til that late?

He said sorry babe, didn't realise the time
No real recognition about the fact I'd not drunk and waited

He usually drunk texts you? And says he wishes you were out with him?
Wtf? Why aren't you out together sober?

No, I wouldn’t go round.

You had plans last night and he blew you off and didn’t even bother to let you know until afterwards.

So don’t go round this morning as if you are at his beck and call. Tell him you’re busy and you look forward to Tuesday, bright and breezy, and enjoy your weekend.

It’s only been a few months, you should still be at the stage of assessing whether he’s good for you and taking it slowly, not obsessing and analysing over messages etc. Take a step back and spend the weekend focusing on the rest of your life, your friends, hobbies, self care, clean your house so it’s a nice environment, go for a walk alone with music, remind yourself how lovely your own company is and that a guy you’ve been dating for just a few weeks really isn’t crucial to your happiness.

What he did last night was very rude btw. At the start of my relationship my OH did it a couple times, he’s quite a go with the flow kinda person whereas I’m not and if we have plans at a particular time I expect them to be kept unless it’s some kind of emergency. After the second time I made it clear I wasn’t gonna sit around prioritising a plan anymore if it was likely to be changed on his side without discussion, it stopped.

It seems a bit of a minimal effort arrangement for your night last night anyway? I mean, not doing anything yourself, sitting around waiting to give him a lift home and presumably going to bed together?

It's not always like that

But he was out last night with work and now has a 2 night wedding to attend
So last night was our only chance to get together before next week IYSWIM

When did you last see him before last night?

I stayed over Thursday night

I've heard nothing this morning so I'm guessing we're done

He's probably still asleep? Out drinking last night.

You seem to be jumping to conclusions a bit. But then I guess if it's been very intense and now it's not so much, the drop is very noticeable.

Yes this time last week he'd just got back from a night out in a different city
He'd text all night saying he was missing me.
Got home, we had sex then a big family bbq in the afternoon

You need to calm down. Assuming it’s done because he’s not messaged you by 09:19am is incredibly needy.
I’ve read your other threads, he clearly likes you but you do sound a little obsessed. You should never put everything into a man

Realistically he didn't have time to see you this weekend, but for some reason you jointly tried to shoehorn it in. Which failed, either because of the booze or the initial energy has dwindled for him. You'd have been better agreeing to see each other on Tuesday and you making plans of your own for last night. What's the rest of your social life looking like?

So he messaged and you went?

You need to calm down

This exactly!

Hi Mozzchops, did you see him in the end this morning? I felt quite sad reading this and was really hoping it hadn't fizzled out. I had a fantastic three-month thing and he suddenly disappeared...it was hard. That was couple of years ago and life's great now but my confidence took a knocking. Hope you're OK, anyhow.

@datingdisaster41 I did see him and everything was fine
I'm glad I did or we would've left it with bad feeling and not seen each other for 2 days

Would two days have felt unmanageable for you?

Not at all but I didn't want to leave it like that and then not see each other for 2 days

It sounds unhealthy, op. You seem overly focused on him and I really hope that you have a good social circle of your own we're not hearing about.

You’ve ignored the posts you don’t want to think about?

In re to your last post “I didn’t want to leave it like that and not see each other for 2 days”

1. Leave it like what? You were supposed to meet one night but didn’t because he drank too much probably. This is one time. The guy postponed moving house because he enjoyed being with you. It sounds like you are very insecure or have anxiety?

2. 2 days isn’t a long time. Again - anxiety?