Am I ready to date? Bipolar. Advice please

[tangledzebra]

Hi

I have recently been diagnosed with bipolar -although i have suffered with extreme lows and highs for about 20 years. I was treated for depression and just thought i was a mass of contradictions! Now looking back it is glaringly obvious.

I have been off work for two months and am on new medication which has stopped me feeling suicidal however i am still having v low days. I am also struggling with the label of bipolar and having to take medication for the rest of my life.

I met someone locally - who i have seen a few times. He isnt my usual type looks wise but seems very kind & gentle. He has asked me for a drink. I enjoy his company but i just dont feel ready yet. Im not in the best place and would be weary about who i am attracting at the moment, with being so vulnerable.

I would like to go on a date when i feel better, just not yet. How do i explain that?

Ps reading back i appreciate this makes me sound like a 15 year old but im 38 with a 10 yr old daughter! I just feel a little lost at the moment.

Maybe just explain to him that your not quite ready yet, you don't have to go into detail if you don't want too. Maybe ask him for his number and if/ when you're feeling more up for it you can drop him a text etc.
If he's not willing to wait- he's not worth your time.

Hope things work out for you

Text:

Hi, I would love to go for a drink sometime however I have a lot of stuff going on right now that I need to concentrate on. Can we stay in contact as friends and see, once I've sorted a few things out, where things go?

Thank you for replying.

I do have his number and he also works very close to where i live so i could text or do you think i should say it to his face? Ie meet for a coffee on his lunch break. I will bump into him again and the last thing i want is for him to feel its a brush off but i feel v nervous opening up to someone and putting them off.

I think im just struggling with the idea of being this way forever. My head is full at the moment.

I got involved with someone just after being diagnosed. I was still getting used to my medication and was all over the place.

That was a mistake - but mainly a mistake because he was a player and a bit of a dickhead, which I knew deep down anyway - I was just trying to distract myself and get some confidence back but it was the wrong way to do it.

Although, I met someone about 6 months after that and it is going so well. He is of the kind and gentle type. My diagnosis is not an issue for him, I was open about it very early on and he only wanted to know what he would be able to do to help if I became unwell in future.

So, if this guy is right for you then he will understand and wait if you need to take it slowly, start as friends etc. I think the text DocMarten suggested is perfect.

PM me if you want to chat, I know how overwhelming it can be to take in a diagnosis, and all the worries about the future that can come with it x

I’ve PM’d you OP.