Deceit, bare faced lying and lying after swearing the truth was absolute

[bewilderment]

Hi - bit of a lying problem, hoping for some good ranges of advice on what to do about this so I don't stay married to Pinocchio.

Have been married for 8 years, very happily, with some beautiful young kids. Everyone describes him as a lovely guy - other mums in the playground gravitate round him like catnip as he knows how to change the baby's nappy, is witty and charming.

My recent experience has been that a sociopath has invaded my marriage. As things have come out of the woodwork.....hidden friendships with a colleague who sends him porn videos and racist videos (FFS), a secret emotional affair with a female work colleague, using cuckold porn when he had agreed he would no longer use it several years ago. Cruising on craigslist for cuckold couples in the neighborhood...but only to look apparently.

I'm angry that he has damaged the intimacy of my marriage in so many ways. He swore to me this week that he had answered all my questions truthfully, but turned out that Pinocchio is still lying. Caught him out re meet ups with woman at work. Given the relentless lying, I don't see a way to put a marriage back together. How could he have been this different person the whole time? That weird thing happened tonight, whereby in a moment your partner and best friend becomes a stranger. I take it that separation and divorce is on the cards - can you come back from deceit, bare faced lying, promising never to lie again and then diving straight back in for a real porker in the same conversation?

He won’t charge and sorry to say, he is/has an affair already. My ex became a stranger on the day he left. Just like that, the man I married and had been with for 11 years, wasn’t the man I thought he was. He was someone altogether less.

I'm sorry you are going through this.
I spent 2 bloody years of my life trying to believe that my ex-H was just messaging OW for the excitement of it.
He spent 3 days per week in hotels, when he could easily have driven home to be with his family. I was both Mum and Dad, the whole time.
On weekends he was 'too tired' from his busy week (shagging around). He refused to get out of bed. Our beautiful children didn't know their Dad at all. I was working FT too, but apparently a woman does all of the housework.
He was a twat.
Yours is equally a twat.
It's really hard to throw away a marriage. Eventually I realised that it wasn't me that had thrown it away.
He finally admitted the adultery when I had already left him. It didn't matter, by that point.

Don't waste time asking 'why?'
You will be over him as soon as you realise that it doesn't matter, because he is a cunt.