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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Wanting to leave my partner with our 3 kids?

16 replies

MadiSontRoy45 · 06/07/2018 22:50

I am living with my partner and our 3 kids,he is controlling and emotionally abusive,I have been viewing properties without he’s knowledge but it’s turning out to be harder than I thought,my sister has offered me to move in with her until I find somewhere it will be very cramped,I am nervous he could say my kids don’t have enough room there I want them back home you think this possible thank you

OP posts:
ferrier · 07/07/2018 03:10

How much room?
If he's abusive it would have to be very cramped indeed for me to not take up the sister's offer.

Coyoacan · 07/07/2018 04:08

I think you should phone Women's Aid, OP.

abbsisspartacus · 07/07/2018 04:09

Take your kids ffs why would you consider leaving them with him

LyndseyKola · 07/07/2018 09:01

Well yes, the kids need space, if you can’t provide that for them wherever you go they’ll have to remain in the family home. Is any of his abuse on record, known to police or social services? If not you’re gonna struggle being able to just go and take the kids with you when they’re half his too.

Original poster
MadiSontRoy45 · 07/07/2018 09:14

It’s a two bedroom house my sisters there will 8 if us there

OP posts:
RainySeptember · 07/07/2018 09:16

How long would you have to stay with your sister?

Original poster
MadiSontRoy45 · 07/07/2018 09:26

Until I find landlord to take me

OP posts:
Original poster
MadiSontRoy45 · 07/07/2018 09:27

He is watching me like a hawke

OP posts:
Original poster
MadiSontRoy45 · 07/07/2018 09:28

I’m going view property at 12 today

OP posts:
Original poster
MadiSontRoy45 · 07/07/2018 09:31

My name is not on the house,he has not put he’s name on last two kids birth certs because of a deal he has got with he’s house he dosent want bank to find out anyone living in house with him

OP posts:
Pickleypickles · 07/07/2018 09:40

Do you work? Most landlords (in my area) will accept you if you work even if you get housing benefit, i work two days a week and what i earn doesnt even cover my rent but i had no problem getting accepted.

Gruffalina72 · 07/07/2018 09:41

The threat of the kids being taken away is just an idea he has planted to keep control of you.

You can speak to Women's Aid on 0808 2000 247.

The sooner you can get away - without warning him - the better. Everything else can be sorted out from there.

Original poster
MadiSontRoy45 · 07/07/2018 09:41

Ye I work full time I’m entitled to help towards the rent there hundreds applying to adds same as me

OP posts:
abbsisspartacus · 07/07/2018 13:56

Local council or housing association? You might not end up local though

abbsisspartacus · 07/07/2018 13:58

Four in each room is doable at a push unless you get air beds for the living room? If his name isn't on the birth certificate he can't take those two anyway he has no rights to them at all

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 07/07/2018 14:00

I might be wrong but given his name isn't on the birth cert for two of them he has no rights with them whatsoever

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