Advice needed - On the verge of splitting with bf

[Iona22]

Hi all, just signed up and could really do with some advice (please excuse me if i do/say anything wrong!).
Well for starters ive been with my bf now for just over 3 yrs, me and my dd moved 200 miles to move in with him 2 yrs ago and to start with things were great. However now im beginning to wonder if i have just wasted the last 3 years on a person who doesnt love me or my dd.
Basically we have had a lot of ups and downs.. believe it or not, after 3 yrs he's still trying to come to terms with the fact that i have a child! But recently things seem to have gotten a lot worse. Two weeks ago we had a silly row which resulted in him giving me the silent treatment for 4 days (apart from when he was shouting abuse at me) and he eventually started talking to me once i told him i was leaving. He said that he felt he couldnt get on with my dd and that she gets on his nerves etc.. I know that there and then i prob should have said " you then!" and left but i wanted to give him a chance, maybe thought that he may change his opinion once things settled down.
Anyway since then, things have been ok, not brilliant but ok, however, last night i came across some posts he had made on a forum which were very suggestive and made out that he was single (these were posted 2 weeks ago when we had the 'silent' row and whilst i was sobbing away in the other room). I asked him about it expecting a "oh im sorry, i was drunk" (which he was) but nothing! Instead i get called worse than and he wished i had gone when i said i was going to! And today.... nothing, its like going back 2 weeks ago.. he hasnt spoke to me, he hasnt even looked at me.. in fact, i dont think we have even been in the same room together today!
I just dont know what to do atm.. im scared to go and talk to him incase i get abuse shouted at me but i also dont want to sit in silence on my own. I know i do NEED to talk to him but i need to pluck up the courage to do that (yes, im a wuss). Ive just got a horrid gut feeling that he's gonna end it, whether thats a good or bad thing im not sure but i know i would be devastated and my poor dd wouldnt know whats happened (she's at her grandparents for a few days).
I just feel so confused at the minute, do i end it, do i leave things and hope that it will blow over, do i try and attempt to talk to him (even tho he's had a drink now), do i leave??? Please, any advice given will help! Thanks

is there anything redeeming about this guy? he sounds like a tosser tbh!

is he young? he sounds very immature, he knew you had a child when you got with him and after 3 years he still hasn't come to terms with i'finds her annoying' wtf do you really need this stress in your life?

from what you have written you do sdound like you and your dd will be better off wiohout him, how old is your dd btw?

When he calms down I think you should talk to him and ask him what he wants from the relationship.

He's 31, my dd is 7 and Im 26. He's never been in a relationship with someone who has a child (although he was "seeing" a woman who had 4 kids before me!).
He's been very independant and successful from an early age and in my opinion i think he thinks he's better than everyone and he doesnt have any faults about him but his faults are what he cant see... he never lets me express my thoughts or opinions as they are "always wrong" and like last night, i tried to explain my point across and all i got was his finger pointed in my face telling me to shut up.
Ive got to say, when we have good times they are REALLY good but just recently those have been non existent. My dd absolutely adores him and it hurts me knowing that the feeling is prob not mutal.

you are making decisions for the two of you. your daughter needs for her to be your biggest priority but as well as that YOU need to be happy too. And you sound like you are living on a knife edge.

littlelapin - I have wondered this myself, i dont actually think he has met anyone else but i think he wants to go out and do exactly that (even tho he's forever telling me he loves me, how special i am how beautiful i am etc..) and i have often questioned myself thinking am i mug for putting up with some of his behaviour. Its like he WILL do what he wants yet i have to ask him kind of thing.
The other week when we rowed i made it clear that i would make it easy for him (right or wrong thing to say, im not sure) by telling him i would go and find elsewhere to live but he was the one who told me to stay! Like i said im just so confused over the whole thing. At the end of the day he either wants US or nothing.. and thats what i need to establish and yes i know im gonna have to talk to him but its plucking up that courage to do so.. whenever he walks out of the room my heart races! (And no, he has never hit me before, his words hurt more than any slap).

Well managed to have a chat today (after he slept in the spare room) and i was right about the "coming to terms with another child" thing. I asked him (again) if he wants me to go to which he replied "dont know" so i told him that i need to know cos i wont hang around forever etc.. we had a good chat and finally are talking to each other. However, i dont think everything is resolved as such and i feel like im waiting for 'the next time'.
Theres still a lot to discuss but the fact that we can look at each other and talk has made me feel a whole lot better.
Just gotta see how things go i suppose, also got to talk to my dd which has cheered me up somewhat (she's staying with grandma for the half term).
Thanks you all for your advice and kind words, watch out for my next thread "He dumped me" lol.