What I really Could Do With is a Sounding Board

[Lavenderdays]

Feeling a bit all over the place at the moment. What I probably need is a bit of counselling but don't want to pay the £40.00 a go. Background Info:
I have a baby and two older dcs. I have a lovely dh who works full-time but absolutely no other family. I am an older mum and most of the people I know/few friends have children 8 years plus. I am a sahm.
.Just feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. I have two or three people I get on with but they all seem busy (two of them work). I miss not going out much (have been staying in with baby due to the heat - I really struggle with it). Most of the time I am O.K but occasionally, I could do with just pouring out my worries where I wont be judged. Eldest DC has had friendship issues at school it looks like that's resolving now (has developed new friendships) but has meant that they don't feel comfortable inviting friends to a party. This has made me feel sad (I am probably more sad than they are). DC2 is due to start school in September and I haven't found that I really click with any of the prospective parents (via pre-school). I need a sounding board/older mother type figure, I think more than anything. I came to realise that a few of my so called friends weren't really friends at all - if anything I did all the listening and they did all the talking. I miss work because at least there, I used to be able to talk, these days, I can go all day without seeing anyone. Planning to go to more baby groups in September (but usually unless you are lucky it is just superficial talk - better than none). Hormones and tiredness probably not helping -just lumping everything together in a scrappy mess. Things will probably seem better soon, I have so much to feel thankful for, its just sometimes I get this sense of isolation and loneliness...it takes me a while to get to know someone and trust them with how I'm feeling. Blah,, if money was no object that £40.00 would be well worth it! Feel better already for rambling on.

Maybe you should think about going back to work even part time? Best of both worlds kind of a thing?

Hi - from what your saying is that you are feeling lonely and a bit isolated. Tbh spending £40 to tell a counsellor that is quite an expensive offload ! Maybe you have something more going on that you are not saying where a counsellor would be worth engaging with ?
Back to what you was saying with regard to not seeing anyone. Of course it's perfectly normal to miss the general chitchat of a workplace and the general involvement of being in an adult world. We all get that. You have realised that maybe getting out to baby/toddler groups is one way to go, likewise the school gate posse. It is hard to weed your way into a group that may have already formed but is there another mum or two that looks like she is on the edge of the ' in' crowd you can start saying hi to or even chat as you are walking home. Try the park or a reading story time at your local library.

You .miss work.
So Go back to work.

Make it happen .
You can always reduce hours later or review.

Even if it s not a financial.gain due to childcare it is a gain for you. Get your dh to share pick up and dropoffs to childminder

Thank you for your responses. I have been a sahm for several years now so no job to return to. I was thinking of voluntary work initially to get back in the swing of things but will wait for baby to get a bit older, plus covering the holidays in terms of nursery/holiday care is going to be expensive - not a high earner. I have a plan its just going to take time. I am so grateful to have my children but it is all a bit top heavy and the usual not enough me time (or not as much as I would like) made harder but the fact there isn't any support (or anyone to say, yes, I had a bad nights sleep too etc.). I've just got to muddle through I think.