Hi all,
back in march I wrote for the first time on here when I found out my then boyfriend at the time was having an affair with someone at his work for the last 5 months. I was in denial although knew I would never forgive him. He kept going back and forth saying his mind wasnt right as he was depressed and was snorting cocaine everyday and drinking 24/7.
Fast forward 4 months and ALOT has happened. He tried to come back to me after the OW slit her wrists when he told her he wanted to be left alone. He wanted me to give him a guarantee on whether I would forgive him in the future which of course I couldnt. He also said he doesnt want to be alone. Fights ensued and calls where I would tell him how much he disgusts me, I told him I would never look at him the same. He told me the OW had slept with 100s of guys and I said I would never let myself touch him again. But I didnt cut off all ties because of his depression and suicidal thoughts. We would speak occasionally but when I didnt hear from him for a week I knew he had gone back to her.
During all this time I have reconnected with an ex work colleague who has really helped me get through all of this, I've known him for 7 years. He is funny, positive, has a great spirit and energy - basically the opposite of my ex in every way. Once I found out my ex has gone back again to the OW I blocked all forms of communication with him, I then recieved a phone call just this weekend from him with the OW on speakerphone. Cut a long story short, he told me they are back together and that I "need to move on", for which i told him i already had. The OW then came on the phone and was asking me for verification on whether he has come back on his own accord or whether he truly wants to be with her. The entire thing was bizarre, he sounded absolutely smashed on alcohol as per usual whislt she was adamant he has changed and is off drugs/booze. I told her he is a pathological liar and i have messages in my phone where he tells me his birthday does not feel the same without me (which was a week before the phone call). She asked me to screenshot the conversation to which I also blocked her. In what world would I help this woman with anything?! Has anyone else been through a situation like this? I am nearly 30 and was with him for most of my 20s but deep down knew he wasn't the one for me. I stuck with it as families were involved and he had brought me an engagement ring, I thought we could work in some parallel universe.
His relationship with the OW now seems to be in full swing as I am out of the picture. They are flaunting it on social media and maybe she is truly the one for him. I am wondering whether this will last between the two of them? Its bad enough of how much he hurt me but to then call me and put things up for the entire world to see makes me question whether I knew him at all.
Any thoughts would be appreciated. I know he is no longer a part of my life - I have told him on the phone that he was dead to me - but it is frightening how much a person can change. I am single and getting back to myself and reconnecting with old friends. I feel like I am doing all the right things but every now and again I slip and check to see whether they're still together. Surely this cant be fair?