Hi All
Im new to mumsnet, this is my first post although i've lurked awhile....
Im married with a beautiful DS 1 year, together with DH 13years, we have struggled in past but got through it, since DS born relationship has been rocky at best. Weve had counselling which went nowhere. We have a joint bank acc which he refuses to separate as I earn more so 'its not fair' money is a big issue, he has a sole acc too & suspect he is putting money into that through cashback on shopping. I also have a sole acc with nothing in as a loan went into it a while ago to help me pay off some debts, he knows this. He is rude & can be very nasty, verbal nothing physical. When his brother asks how he is standard response is fat wife, little rat & hoping for a meterite. We clash on values alot e.g. i'd prefer he didnt each DS to play with guns shooting at people, he told me im ridiculous. I set up a toy for DS DH walks in & kicks it over just cus. Im not attracted to him & he clearly thinks im fat. (Im size 14-16 & working hard to lose weight) we have nothing in common . He is currently sleeping on sofa as its hot. I thought things were getting better & we were looking at pics on his phone, i then saw he has pics of my credit card statement, pics of my account details, pics of my phone contacts log. He brushed it off & took phone away saying im paranoid. We rarely kiss, marriage is sexless (ds is from ivf). I feel like crap, he will flip out at smallest thing then tell me its my fault. E.g. he was tired the other day said only 3hours sleep (ds & i woke him when i was getting ready for work as he was downstairs alseep) i said sorry ive left it as late as i can but need to get ready for work, you were up late on your pc though n knew id be up by now. his reply was i hate the way you talk to me, you are so snotty. If it wasnt for ds id leave, but im terrified he will take ds from me. He has threatend this before. He has also told me if we spilt he wants me to pay him maintenance. (I have a career, he has a job hes never wanted a career and ive always encouraged him to push himself but he cant be bothered) I feel stuck, trapped & alone. My dad passed away & i have no contact with mum, i have no where to go. Im miserable, sat here crying, i know it sounds stupid. Well done if you made it this far, i dont know what im after really. Just needed to vent i guess. Thanks.