Flaky date

[tabularasa35]

Online dating: the first guy didn't read my profile and didn't know that I have kids (previous thread). I moved on.

Second guy was 40 minutes late for first date. I had already left but he called and met me and we went for a walk. He explained that he had had to sign up at work since his colleague's wife was giving birth, and he showed me the pager, saying he was on call.
The second date was tonight at 8 for dinner. Calls at 7:30, new emergency should take 2-3 hours (he is a surgeon) can we meet when he is done.

I want to understand but grrrr I am a single mom, I don't get many free nights. I am dressed, didn't play for dinner at home or did anything with my afternoon but to come home to get a shower and get ready.

I am going to ask what his hours are. I dont think he is always on call. So is he trying to schedule me during his work hours? If emergencies are so often I dont think we can date. Thanks God he 2as called 30 minutes before dinner. Imagine if he leaves just 10 minutes after sitting at a restaurant!

How would you handle this? Not sure it is a deal breaker if we were a couple but I am basically stood up.

Tbh he shouldn’t have scheduled a date when oncall! Sounds very flakey to me indeed... move on I suspect he had another offer. Also word of caution dating medics (I’m a medic) can be a nightmare and they are often arrogant but in no end of supply of willing parties who want to date

You can’t just get called up if you are not “on duty” per se- we usually have an on-call rota

He is definitely at the hospital, not on another date. Sent me photos of him dressed up for dinner from there and then with the scrubs to go into the OP. But as I thought, he is scheduling me when he is on call then, that doesn't sound great. At the same time, I am not very available myself. I gave him two possible days this week, so it could be he took the one he was on call instead of the one he was working. I definitely need to ask about schedule.

About dating medics... wow. Generalizations are silly. I dont know much about the guy but not writing him off because of his (decent) job.

I understand the snobby part and arrogance but I am not impressed about that. I am an engineer and a high earner, a "great catch" myself haha

Give him another chance!
What sort of engineer?

I hate generalising too, I’m just talking from experience and try to avoid medics when dating....but good luck to you!

I'm in the middle of reading a medic's memoir, he repeatedly cancels dates etc due to emergencies. Probably not the best match if you have limited time.

He could be married? I know somebody who would always meet his mistress when he was on-call, told his wife he needed to go into work and would go and meet the OW.

Well, he finished after midnight. I asked to reschedule when he wasn't on call. And... he said "can you believe that I wasn't! nobody wanted to come and they called me".

So... moving on. It has been 1 date, 40 minutes late and second date he chose to cancel last minute to go to work.

I am using a paid dating app, but what a experience so far!