I snooped

[Samb79]

Dh and I are just bumbling along, both in new jobs, two kids, money worries, we don’t really communicate.

Reading posts on here, decided to check his messenger, and he’s been chatting to this girl, think he knew her when they were younger.

Messages from her are rather innocent, but his JUST edge on the side of inappropriate and I get the feeling that if she instigated something it may not all be so innocent. He is a night owl, and it doesn’t sit right that he’s up at dick o clock messaging this other girl. Hes ‘pocket Phoned’ her on messenger - how is that even possible! He states that he was drunk and apologies for it. She knows he’s married and has kids.

What do I do? I shouldn’t have bloody looked!!

What is pocket phoned ?

What do you want to do?

Do you mean video called? It's really easy to do by accident on messager.

I’d just wait it out. Keep my eyes and ears open, be aware.

This stuff can be life changing. You’ve got to have your facts straight.

He hasn’t actually done anything wrong has he? except maybe be a bit of a twat? But there’s nothing incriminating in their messages? Nothing to suggest they are emotionally or sexually involved?

Trust is a massive issue. He won’t trust you and he’ll go to greater efforts to hide away. You’ll
Be the one at fault here for not trusting him.

Don’t snoop unless you are prepared to act on what you find (i snooped BTW).

Pocket phones is when you accidentally call someone while your phone is in your pocket or bag.

I’m not sure what I want to do, whether to confront him or just ignore it. Technically he’s done nothing wrong. It could open up a whole can of worms, and although we aren’t ‘right’ at the moment, I don’t want to get into a deep and meaningful about where we are headed. To be honest I’m quite happy to bury my head in the sand about it in that respect.

I guess I just wanted to say it. That I’ve seen it.

You’re obviously disconnected, deeply disconnected if you would rather bury your head in the sand than be open with him.

Why don’t you want a deep and meaningful conversation with him? It’s only reconnection which will stop the potential dissolution of your relationship.

He’s being a disloyal dick and you have every right to confront him. Nothing has happened - yet. A conversation about this could be the catalyst which brings you closer together.

Ignore at your peril, I reckon.

I have arse-dialled several contacts of varying stages of embarrassment from my back pocket. Always people I'd had up on messenger though.
I'm not sure what to suggest. Are you very hurt by it? Or are you "meh, it's only flirting"? It depends what's acceptable in your relationship. If this is not, then I think you need to say something. You obviously felt there was something amiss because you snooped. I don't think people do that if they don't feel on some level they need to. He'll probably go bananas about you looking, but that'll be because you caught him doing something that he knows is wrong.
If you ignore it, it may come to nothing, but it may also develop into something else. How would you feel knowing you could have possibly put a stop to it? And really, honestly, can you just ignore this and go back to how things were and not have it eat away at you and your behaviour in the relationship? I couldn't. I think now it's done you need to have it out with him because I don't think you'll be able to get those worms back in the can no matter how hard you try.

What sort of things is he saying?

I think that you need to have a proper chat with him OP.