Am i right to be jealous?

[Brightside81]

So about 2 months ago i met an amazing girl, i had been single for 2 years previously. Anyway, we hit it off right from the start and things currently are going amazingly well. It's been a month since we both decided to make things "official" and i can seriously see this girl being the one. These sort of feelings are very rare for me which is maybe why recently I've been somewhat insecure about a couple of things...

Me and my girlfriend talk, talk a lot and there's nothing i would hide from her, so of course past relationships/partners come up. So here's the first niggle i have, she still displays photos of her ex around the apartment. Initially this didnt bother me as it didnt really register who this guy was (gf has a few male friends) a few weeks ago she told me she had taken a photo down because she felt it wasnt fair on me and she replaced it with a photo of us.
Recently i noticed a few other photos dotted around the place on the wall, again her with the ex. I brought it up in discussion and she has also admitted that she had photos of her exes still on her phone too and that she just hasnt had the time to go through and delete them. We haven't argued over this as such, more of an intense discussion. So should i be seeing this as a warning signal? I don't really buy the excuse of not having enough time to delete them. Soon as we were official i went through my phone and deleted a lot of photos from my past, because i know she would be upset if she accidently came across certain photos.

2nd niggle. A male friend of hers who lives across the street has made it clear he really likes her. He's even said that he loves her through a drunken text. They had slept together last year. I don't have a problem with male friends, i have female friends including girls Ive dated and there's nothing wrong with that so long as boundaries don't get crossed. Unfortuantely me and my gf have argued over this. She and this male friend meetup most weeks, they go out locally for drinks and dinner, sometimes theyre within a group other times its just the two of them.
Ive met him a couple of times, I'm not a big fan for obvious reasons! Anyway, after meeting him for the first time me and my gf then went away for the weekend, the following week i learn that later on in the night when we met he had sent her a text saying he loved her and on our first weekend away he had tried to ring her! I was fuming, the gf tried to dismiss it as drunken behaviour but i wouldn't let it go, this other guy isnt even single himself!
So some weeks have passed and it still occasionally gets brought up in conversation. I just can't seem to it out of my head. Apparently the gf has said to her friend that he can't keep behaving this way and he has admitted that what he did wasnt cool. So everything should be fine now right? But it isnt, I'm not usually a jealous guy but this girl stirs up so many emotions in me, most are very positive and most of our time together is perfect. I do think its partly down to self preservation with these negative thougts i have. I also feel though that she could make things easier for us, re both the photos and other guys trying to crack onto her? So am i being over sensitive or are things unnecessarily complicated on her side?
First post so i apologize for beating round the bush

She can't stop other guys hitting on her. Do you think she has super powers? She can only control her reaction. She has told him to stop, at this point it's all she can do. If he continues, she needs to stop meeting him without others around. But you can't expect her to do that until she's given him a chance to stop.
With the photos it depends on if it's just her and him, or there are others in them too. Photos are memories, you can't wipe out the past. If it's just her and him I agree they shouldn't be on the wall. But phones are our new photo albums, would you expect her to throw away photo albums because her ex is in them?

I’d be upset if people were hitting on my dh. I’d never be happy with pictures up if an ex.

My lines are drawn so if both things didn’t change I’d lose patience and move on

I think the relationship is still young but it doesnt sound as she us as invested as you are at the moment. Its early days . If and when she decides she wants to go to the next stage i imagine the exes photos will be assigned to the bottom drawer.

Enjoy what you have but dont scare her off with your own insecurities

The guy across the road thing I get- it is important that she is totally transparent with you about it.

The photos in the apartment and on her phone though- I don’t get this. Her photos are her memories and her life experience- it sounds like you are almost forcing her to delete them and erase that whole part of her life and that’s hard - it should be her decision and you should trust her enough to understand that, whatever she has on her phone or displayed, she is with you now and only you.

Do you trust her?

She's with you because she wants to be with you. If she wanted to be with someone else, she would be.

If I were her I'd cool it with the friend who fancies her for his sake but I don't think you have anything to worry about. Pictures of ex would annoy me but I wouldn't expect her to wipe his pics off social media etc

The pics around the flat would worry me but the phone ones not so much. I have lots of old pics on my phone I haven’t thought to delete because it’s just never a priority to go through my phone deleting photos... None of my ex but I don’t doubt some exist on the cloud.

As PP pointed out, she can’t prevent that guy hitting on her but she can tell him it isn’t acceptable or appropriate because she has a boyfriend or simply tell him to back off.

For me, it is worrying you are already so full of insecurities when the relationship should be in the fun honeymoon phase.

Youre right, she can't do anymore. Everytime this comes up she says all the right things, well initially she didnt take it seriously. I do tell her that i know she hasn't done anything wrong, though the whole sleeping with a guy whos in relationship thing isnt great but i understand that it was last year.
As for the photos, it's just the two of them. She's admitted that they still chat and occassionally meet up but to my knowledge they haven't met since we have been together. They were seeing eachother for a long time but things were complicated and ultimately he didn't want her enough. I get that there could be feelings there still, which understandably makes me stop and think. It's very confusing because like i said its nearly perfect and she says everything i want to hear. Ive met some of her friends and family too which is a big thing for sure. I know, i know i just need to chill tfo!

So far we have just discussed these issues, ive not demanded anything from her, like she stops seeing her male friend. Ive never been like this before and i dont want to be that guy. At times she can feel a bit insecure when she knows ive met with a female friend, she claims its no different but i remind her that i don't receive 'i love you' texts from them.
I understand that from the outside it appears this relationship won't work but it's ridiculous just how well we have gotten on these last 2 months, yes it is intense but its been incredible and mutual

Many argue that it is the person in the relationship who is the only one at fault however I actually think it says a lot about a person if they sleep with someone who is in a relationship.

Especially if they are still seeing that person weekly while the partner is blissfully unaware.

She is projecting her morals onto you. Doesn't trust you meeting other women because she expects you to have the same rules/standards as her which allow her to do what she did.

I can understand why this bothers you. I didn't keep any pictures up of my ex-wife after we split, but I never got around to deleting those online. When I got with my new partner, she demanded I remove every trace of ex-wife from social media. Which took hours. She accused me of "clinging on", when the truth is I never look at my social media history and had just never gotten around to it.

But keeping pictures up around the house of ex's is a little off, I think. I don't think it shows she's up to anything, but it does show that she's inconsiderate of your feelings and may not be as invested in this relationship as you. Perhaps you're feeling insecure because you're getting vibes of that nature from her.

I also had a similar problem with my GF's male friend. There were a couple of guys she'd been with now and then over the years. One I believe she still has feelings for, another who she eventually blocked when he wouldn't stop messaging her. She can't control how other men behave, but can control how she reacts. I got a little worried about the former, mostly because we almost split up after 3 months when she debated whether or not to stay with me or go with him (this was understandable as we lived 2 hours apart and she was debating a long distance etc), but decided upon staying with me.

People have history, and that's not really an issue. She doesn't meet up with them, but has been known to occasionally threaten to sleep with either of them when we argue, which I think is very poor form. But as long she doesn't ever actually do it.

Anyway, your GF can't control how other men act. The downside of this day and age is that every woman I know seems to get bombarded with messages from men coming on to them. And a lot just won't take no for answer. I do think though, that if he's being this way, it is a very bad idea for her to go out with him alone. He obviously isn't just taking it as platonic, even if she is. It may be necessary for her to cut the friendship anyway if he doesn't back off (which is what I would do if a female friend wouldn't take no from me).

I wouldn't demand anything, but she should really think whether this is someone she should remain friends with.

Very poor form indeed threatening to sleep with someone else after an argument, i admire your patience and understanding, i probably would have flipped.
They have been friends for a good few years now and in her words he's been trying to get her into bed for years. Which didn't help when i heard her say that but surely if something else was going to happen (since last year) it would have done?
I don't want to hate this guy and ive said to my gf if he's any decent friend he'll stick to his word and behave. Im not sure if i need to say something more or just trust my girl and let it run?

Brightside- where are you reading that she's jealous or threatening to sleep with men after an argument? Have I missed that bit?

In response to TheKnightsWhoSayNi?
Sorry for the confusion

Yeah, if she's put a stop to it now and told him, there's no reason not to trust her. I can see why you're jealous, and it may not be a healthy friendship for her to maintain, but it doesn't mean you should distrust her.