He made me forget how unhappy I was, now he has left and...

[Bubblesandcake]

I feel I have gone back to my lonely exsistance.
Before I met him, I was in my 2nd year of a mental health nursing degree, struggling financially and emotionally. I have 2 dd's and their father has zero input. I do not enjoy my degree and have no desire to be a nurse anymore. I just can't give up now as I have worked so hard to get to where I am. I have 6 months of training left.
For the past 7 months my mind was preoccupied and now I'm single again, it's highlighted how unhappy I am. It's like he put a plaster on it for a while.
The relationship wasn't right (he couldn't accept I had my dd's all of the time and that I couldn't afford to go anywhere) and it has actually made me think about my life. He is not the reason I am unhappy. If I was going back to a life I enjoyed, I wouldn't feel so unhappy.
I have nobody to talk to. I want the best for my dd's and I thought becoming a nurse would benefit us all.
I don't even know what I'm asking here. I just feel so down about things right now.
It's so hard being alone, making decisions, hoping our dc's are ok. I feel I have lost control. My dd's argue, go to bed too late, my one dd is over weight and I'm trying to help her with this, she gets angry at me sometimes. I'm feeling a little bit lost and exhausted with life at the moment....

Hi - sorry you are feeling this way.

Do you have any family nearby you can talk to/share the load a bit with?

Are there any counsellors available at your college/uni?

If not, I would suggest speaking to your GP. You sounds quite depressed. It's good that you recognise the relationship wasn't 'right' - but what would help I think is getting you to the point where you are happy by yourself, and not using a relationship as a 'plaster' (excellent metaphor by the way).

You sound intelligent and capable and a lovely Mum. Just sounds like you could use some help!

Being a single Mum and doing a degree is a lot of work (My Mum did the same with 3 of us) and got to 6 months before she finished and she decided she hated her degree and was giving it up. Thankfully, we talked her into completing it, but she totally changed fields afterwards so don't worry about that too much.

Sorry, not sure if any of this is much help but didn't want to just read and run.

Op

Your life sounds pretty good to me. You are doing a degree, you are improving your job prospects, increasing your earning power and you have two wonderful children.

Yes it is hard to keep motivated at times especially when you are doing it alone but just think of all you are achieving. Those little girls depend upon you so much and if this ex of yours could not respect your circumstances then he doesn’t deserve to be involved in your life.

Do you have friends and family nearby?

And I think this happens to lots of people when they get near the end - total exhaustion and fed up of all the studying

You can go into other careers with your degree too

How old is your daughter who is overweight? My dentist said he wanted my daughter to drink nothing but water or milk for the next six months. She was the sort of little girl who always did what she was told (by others!) so she did it and within six months she'd lost the weight.

Another thing you could do is say that you want to get fit and strong, so you want a couple of walks a day to help you. And of course she has to go with you.

Hi as a qualified nurse I can see why you have reached the point where you don't see a future career in nursing.
But if I can give you any advice it would be stick out the last 6 months. A nursing degree opens so many doors for you so you won't be stuck in a role that doesn't make you happy. The diversity of jobs out there in health is massive so please persevere.
Furthermore I have found nursing colleagues to be the most supportive people on the planet; I've had loads of rough times and honestly my nursing friends have stopped me ripping over the edge.
Keep working you won't regret it in the end. I agree though don't settle for someone to make you happy, only you can do that and I really believe you will look back in years to come and think standing strong was your best decision. All the best xx

I'm so sorry for late response. Had a couple of not so nice days.
Thankyou all so much.
I'm trying to build a new network of friends. I need to stick with my degree to finally be able to own my house alone (ex still on mortgage). I don't like where I live and desperate to be in a position to move. So I have to complete the degree. Not sure where I it can lead? I don't/can't work in mental health as it doesn't help me with my own.
I'm just struggling at the moment with the demands of being a single mum. I would see him at weekends so feeling a little lost. My mum has told me to get bank out there dating again but I just feel exhausted by it.