Scared to go through another split

[MissyEmRain]

Been with OH three years. He has completely changed his mind on having babies and marriage.
On holiday with my 8 yo son and OH is so short with him (son can be spoilt and hard work But not terribly so!)
OH just asked if I had brought my contraception with me in a panicked voice. (He knows I would love another baby) I said yes of course but then we discussed what would happen in event of a pregnancy accident. He said ‘everyone would know that it wasn’t an accident, they don’t happen- you would be trying to trap me.’ Anyway, he eventually said he would leave me, as he absolutely wants nothing to do with a kid (‘they are annoying and I would have no freedom’) and would never want to see the child. His mum is on holiday with us too, and OH dad left her with three kids on her own. I suggested that his mum would disown him in the case of such an event but he didn’t agree!
I have been through many awful splits in my life and I am aware that me and OH need to separate but am terrified this time as I moved into his home. I am so scared to tell him that we should separate, sort out DS school change (again) but I think me and this man are too different and longrun it’s not good for DS. OH claims him and DS get on ‘okay,’ ...

Of course you have to split. You want different things that aren't compatible.

How old are you and how many "awful" splits have you been through then?

Doesn't sound like it's working at all OP.
He needs to get himself a vasectomy.

Give yourself time for yourself and your son. Maybe give relationships a rest and concentrate on yourself.

Shatnerswig I’m 34 almost 35 and I split horribly from sons dad and then had a violent relationship which almost killed me trying to get out of

In which case I think Vitalogy is right. Give relationships a rest, concentrate on yourself and your son. It sounds as if your radar with men might be a little off. How soon did you move in with this current bloke?

We moved in after a year...

Personally, I'd say that was too soon bearing in mind there's a child involved, but people are different. As a lone adult, I wouldn't look to move in with someone for probably 18 months, as I think it does take 12-18 to really get to know someone.

OP, it reads like you have a very good idea of what you need to do for your own wellbeing and that of your DS.

The upheaval of moving school for DS is nothing compared to how devastating it would be to his childhood to live in the sort of home environment that you describe with a man who thinks their relationship is"OK".

Do you have to move schools? Can you rent or get a mortgage on your own?

Make the decision to leave, you will then figure solutions and strategies to cope.
One step at a time.

A year is too soon as it takes at least 2 years to know someone, with a child its high risk so always think it should be 2-3 years of red flag free behaviour.