Tell me about your children and the relationships they have with each other...

[GlitterBallBee]

DD 6 is about to become a big sister to a little boy. She's wants a sister but says she doesn't mind if it's a boy (we've decided not to tell her until he is born). I'd like to know...

• how did your child(ren) take to becoming a brother/sister?
• does anyone have any experience of having a girl, then having a boy 5+ years later?
• how do your kids get on now?
• what was it like introducing them for the first time?
• anything I need to know?

Thanks

Hoping I wasn't wrong putting this in relationships. Couldn't think of where else I would put it!

DD was 3 when DS was born, so I don't know about larger gaps.

She was very glad to have a baby sibling but not that interested in doing too much with him when he was little.

They're now 6 and 10 and get on pretty well. They do bicker a bit, but by and large they get on OK, but they are both of a placid temperament (thank God they inherited that from my side, rather than the argumentative DH's side!)

I have two dds, aged five yrs apart. Very very different characters, interests, skills etc... They ABSOLUTELY ADORE each other and have done from very young.
They literally are closest of friends, and look out for each other, talked about stuff they couldn't talk to me about, helped each other through school, friends, boys etc.
They are now 23 and nearly 18 and closer than ever.
I am so lucky.
I have a similar relationship with my dB..

@Echobelly DD is stubborn and quite grumpy! She's desperate for a sibling and so excited however I'm sure the novelty will wear off...

@theredjellybean that's so lovely. How sweet! I hope my DD and DS are similar. Bit different with a boy and a girl but lovely nonetheless!

I have a DD 13 and a DS 6. They are devoted to each other and the gender and age difference means that they are happy for each other's achievement without actually competing.

DD is in the throes of teenage angst atm and things are more difficult- she's grumpy with everyone and winds him up a bit. BUT I found them having a cuddle yesterday and they still defend each other to the hilt if they're in trouble
It also meant that DD was at school when DS arrived so i had a full year mat leave with both- largely on their own.

My children are aged 29 / 25 / 22 / 19 / 16 - and they are boy / girl / girl / boy / girl.

The older two have always been very close although marriage has changed the amount of time they spend together of course.

The most difficult relationship has always been between my second daughter and second son. They are very different characters and seem to know - even now - how to press each other's buttons to get a reaction.

But in spite of that all five of them love each other fiercely. There are only two left living at home now but they make seeing each other - separately from us - a priority in their lives and they are planning a big holiday next year for the five of them, their spouses and inlaws.

When they are all home during the holidays they do things en masse with their friends and they share friendships e.g. middle daughter's best friend from the age of 12 is coming to my son's wedding. My daughter is working away for a while and her friend checks up on our youngest daughter, invites her out, has met her for study sessions when they both had exams.

There's 6 years between my older daughter and younger son and they have always been inseparable. She used to call herself his "mini mum" and, as a toddler, if he fell over she was the one he would run to. From the time he was born to till he was about nearly every photo of them has him on her hip!

Now they are more or less adults the two younger girls, who are the ones still at home, are very close.

DS was 6.5 when DD was born, they are now 10 and 3.5. They absolutely adore each other, are best friends and thick as thieves. DS appears to enjoy his chance to be a 'little kid' again with her, and she loves trying to get involved in his interests. The other day he was on his playstation and he'd given her the spare (batteryfree) controller so she could 'play' too and she was bashing it away and he was telling her how great she was doing, was so sweet. I just hope it lasts as they get older!

Only a 3 year gap between my two sons. Love each other to bits. Hug each other every day despite being 15 and 12. Laugh their arses off together whilst playing Fortnite as a duo.

95% of the time they are best mates, 5% argue and dislike each other.

Ds1 really looked after Ds2 when he was born, was happy to help fetch things before he could crawl to them, chatted to him lots. It was lovely and still is.

Dd1 is now 23 . Ds is 21 and DD3 is 16.

I can honestly put my hand in my heart and say they genuinely love each other. Always have. From day 1. None of them have ever hit/smacked or shouted at each other. They have been relentlessly kind from the moment they could speak.

This continued throughout toddlerdom/school and teenage years. Dd1 has been away at Uni overseas and has remained a constant 'big sister' to her sisters without being bossy or unkind. Just gently kind advice.

Before anyone feels like being sick and sending me bad vibes - I KNOW how lucky I've been. Really I do. It's been unbelievable bliss all the way which now means karma 'owes me' grandchildren from hell..
I'll keep you posted.

Just to make everyone feel better I have also had 4 'normal' dsc for ten years who have spend the majority of that time bashing seven bells out of each other - king after that sort of thing normally stops - so I've had a degree of payback already . (Just didn't have to police it - thank god). That's DHs job. 😬

Aaah these are lovely! Im getting excited now.... thanks all!

My older DS is 5 and has just become a big brother - he also has HFA. I was worried as I didn’t want anything to affect him detrimentally so we’ve taken care to ensure he hasn’t felt excluded.

Obviously it’s very early days (4 months) but he’s besotted with his little brother - he asks ‘how can I make him laugh BIG!’ and is very kind and gentle with him.

The baby adores him. When friends said this about babies and older siblings I used to roll my eyes and think they were projecting but it’s entirely true. The baby only has eyes for his brother and laughs like a drain when they ‘play’ together.

I am the oldest of three and there’s a big age gap between me and the middle one and I hated it so I was a touch worried but it’s been fine. Better than fine.

Small age gaps here. They detest one another. Ugh.

2 boys, 4 years btw them. 17 and 13 now. They have always got on. They now have their own rooms but this was instigated by me, they weren't keen, but they like it now. They don't argue or bicker. They laugh a lot and share some of the same interests, they get on with each others friends. They spend most of their spare time together. It's been difficult getting them to welcome DPS son into the family. They accept him, they make allowances, they do though seem to reluctant to spend time with him. It's a work in progress. I think it's made harder by the bond they have together. The eldest is very protective of his brother, the youngest seems to look up to DS1 and I hear him speak well of him to his friends.

I was nervous about how DS1 would feel when his brother was born. I made certain that when baby slept I spent my time with DS1. Other than that life was much the same....but with 2.

There's a 5 year gap between DS1 and his new baby brother. DS1 was used to having lots of attention so I was worried about his reaction, but he's been great. Very interested and affectionate, always wanting to give DS2 kisses and make him smile - which he does far more for DS1 than me. We've tried to ensure that we still have time to play with DS1 and let him have lots of supervises hugs when DS2 was tiny, which - though nervous for us - was great in cementing their bond.

There's 5 years between DD and DS, so very similar.

They adore each other. In some ways they can ignore each other a lot, but then I'll catch them chatting away. They share a room and DD gets into DS's cot in the morning and I can hear them reading books together. If we're out and DD runs off ahead he gets so wound up and calls after her constantly. Last week at her swimming lesson he nearly got his head stuck in the safety gate trying to get nearer her

When they first met, DD was at first a bit 'pretend' gooey over him because she thought she should be and didn't quite know how to react. But then I started patting his back to wind him and she slapped me for hurting him!

I love the age gap, on a practical note you can leave them alone for 5 minutes and she can be relied upon to watch him so he doesn't kill himself climbing on the furniture. But it does have some down sides, mainly that if you're on your own with them all day it can be hard to juggle their different needs and interests, like DD wants to go to the cinema or swimming, things that it's so hard to do with a 6yo and a 18mo.

My little sister is 6 years younger than me. When she was born I was over the moon, pushed the pram everywhere. We had a tense spot in the middle when I was a teenager (we shared a room which didn't help). She's now my absolute best friend and I would be lost without her.

@Thurlow that is very interesting, we have a 3mo DD and a 5y8mo DS and he is doing the "gooey" thing too, he is all over her and obsessively repeats how cute she is but it's clear that he's actually struggling with the gap between his expectation and reality - the noise, her inability to communicate or do much yet, her taking attention from us. She does smile at him which he loves but we are constantly having to tell him not to hug her or get right up in her face.

I am hopeful that the relationship will improve as your children's did - did you do much to get past that initial phase or did it pass?

@LunaTrap's children have also given me hope we will get through this as they have the potential for a lovely relationship.

OP introducing DS and DD was one of the best moments of my life, I hope it is for you too.

Thanks everyone for your responses! A proper mixed bag, which is great! 18 weeks to go until DD meets DS. I'm nervous about introducing them I really am. She loves babies but I'm worried about her reaction to him being a boy!

I think we just really left them too it. But lots of explaining even now about his development and what be can do and understand. She is actually very proud and excited when he does something new, he's learning to talk at the minute and she finds it genuinely fascinating.

@GlitterBallBee when my mum was in hospital having my sister she was speaking to a woman that had two sons. They wanted another brother but she knew she was having a girl so she got them each a small present that was "from" their new baby sister. Apparently they were so delighted that their new sister got them a present that they didn't care she was a girl!

DD was 6 when DS was born (they're now 16 & 10) & they've always been very close.

She was really into babies when he came along so he was a real live doll to her I think & she was always around him, trying to help out etc.

DS was born the first day back at school after the Christmas break so she was ecstatic about getting an extra day off to come visit at the hospital I was less ecstatic about the time I wasted ironing her school clothes the night before.

They have rare arguments but generally they get on great.

My first child (son) was 13 when I had my second (another son) and never in my wildest dreams could I have hoped for him to adore his baby brother the way he does. He gets the best laughs from his wee brother and they completely adore each other. I am expecting a third son (Henry the 8th would have loved me lol) the first week of August. It's mad being out numbered in a house full of males but hoping my next and last wee boy has as much fun and love from his big brothers as my second born got xx

Mine are 2.5 years apart

Fell for each other pretty fast !

Adore each other and fight savagely many times a day

I love that they are close - Long May it last

There are 7 years between mine. They are very close and my eldest is really good at looking after his little sister. She runs rings round him generally, but then she does that to us all! I think it’s a great age gap.