Don't know where to turn or how to carry on!

[Neveradullday365]

Please help,new here and not really sure where to start.
My partner left me around a week ago, over the silliest little nag I had at him after he had been away.
I have two kids, we lived together and he's just up and left with not a care. I also started taking antidepressants and anti anxiety tablets and therapy a month ago as I am in such a low place. Well this has topped off all hope of being happy for me. I honestly don't know where to turn, I'm a mess, my son actually had to wipe tears off my cheeks the other day, (yes I'm well fucking aware that it isn't fair on my son) but I couldn't stop crying and had no one to keep care of them until I'd calmed down. So now I feel like a terrible mum, I have zero self confidence, and the first time in my life jobless and have a house to pay for. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Does it get better? I feel so alone, and in all honesty I'm terrified. Thought I was going to spend my life with him and he has left me when I needed him most. Any help on how to sort my head out would be appreciated!

It feels that way and may do for some time but with a lovely son like that, you've obviously done a lot to raise such a thoughtful child and stand every chance of being happy in the future.

Take a look through Mumsnet Relationship Guide to see if there are any associations in there that can advise you.

If you haven't already, take a look through Turn 2 Us to check if you qualify for any support that you don't currently receive.

Firstly, you don't sound like a terrible mum.
Secondly, this sounds like a shock to you, it will take time to come to terms with. Don't rush yourself.
Have you had legal advice?
Have you organised any access visits?
Do you have access to money?
Have you got anyone who can listen to you and hug you?
Can your get anyone to look after the DC while you gather your thoughts and sort out any appointments?
It will get better. It will feel less painful. You will be a stronger person and your DC will look up to you.

I am so sorry :-(

You will be ok though, even if it feels like you are at rock bottom. You are not a shit parent for crying in front of your son.

Someone said something to me recently, and its you can only do your very best in that moment. You are doing the very best you can do right now and everyday will get a little bit easier. Try and stay strong. Remember if you can get through the worst you can get through anything!

Also as a side note, it really wasn't very nice of him to leave when the chips are down and he know's you need support. You'll be strong enough to do it on your own.

Thankyou both for replying, feels nice to have someone to talk to.
He's been round a couple times in the evening to see the kids,
Ive applied for single tax credits, rang my local council to try and sort out some housing benefit until I can find a job (which is proving difficult around school hours, wish I didn't quit my job a couple months ago now!)
I'm gutted he's left, I worshiped him.
I'm worried the kids will pick up on me being down and that just makes me even more anxious
I think I'm over self loathing but I just can't stop. I've been listening to meditation to try and go sleep but I just end up tossing and turning inbetween crying fits until gone 3am.
I hope it stops hurting soon, not sure how many more days I can do. Crying on the school run can be quite embarrassing 😣

Oh and I forgot to say, one of my family members has had to lend me some money so I can pay bills so atleast I'm ok for bills and rent this month. I know there's people in horrific situations 100x worse than mine but I just can't seem to think positively about anything and just feel like my life has fallen apart. I thought we were really happy!

You don’t have to reply to everyone. I used to reply to maybe 1 in 20 messages, if that. I’d also say, if you don’t want to be flirty with someone, I’d probably not message them at all. You’re not trying to make friends! Them wanting to meet quickly isn’t a red flag - it’s a way of weeding out who actually wants to date from women who are just looking for ego-stroking pen pals (there are a lot of these, and male ones ditto). Again, if you don’t want to meet them, why are you on there?

Sorry, wrong thread