12 year old DD with big tummy

[notaworrierxxx]

Hello

My daughter turned 12 yesterday.
She is not overweight and normally (athletically) proportioned I would say, probably about 5ft 2 in, wears age 12-13 or 13-14 clothes as do most of her friends.

However I am becoming increasingly worried about the size of her tummy - by the end of the day it really sticks out, it can look 6 months pregnant and in certain clothes it's like a mini beer belly, she has a proper muffin top.

We eat v healthily, occasional treats thrown in, she's pretty active, though become less so as reaches teen years. I know she's self conscious about it but if I mention it at all she goes completely hysterical.

I just don't know what to do - I want to help her reduce it but I also don't want her to develop an eating disorder. My mum even commented on it last night after seeing her in a new pair of trousers and said 'Is she alright? Her tummy is a bit big'

I don't think it's bloating - it is fat.
What can I do. It's really upsetting me and I barely slept last night with worrying about it.

Thanks

My daughter is exactly the same. I was at her age too. Once I hit puberty my body shape changed & everything evened out. I worry that my daughter is overweight, but like yours eats healthily ( we don't have a treat box etc) Like your daughter her body is changing, hips, bust, hair & moods . Her feet have also grown, she's 11 & a size 6!
I would relax & dont compare her to others. She will even out xxx

If she hasn't had her period yet then it could just be her body changing with hormones getting ready for the onset. I think a trip to the GP if she has any tummy upsets is in order but please don't make it a big deal for her. If she isnt over eating and is happy and healthy whilst being active then she will be fine, obsessing over it and transferring your fears or perceptions of body image could change that in a heart beat.

Is it possible that she has a bigger belly that just gets a bit bigger at the end of the day? If so, it could be puppy fat. I read that this can happen with pubescent girls and that belly fat then migrates to the bust area.

she's probably gaining weight cos she's about to get tall.
Honestly kids can get out of proportion as they grow. Not everything grows slow and steadily. I really don't think you should make a big deal about this. Dont give her a complex.

I had a lot of belly fat at that age (I remember a shop assistant saying I still had my puppy/baby fat and I was so embarrassed) and it all disappeared when I got my period etc, I’ve been a size 10 all my life since my teens.

I'm sorry to ask this, I know it's unlikely, but are you sure she's not pregnant? Stuff does happen, and at least if you know ...

Sorry, didn't pick up on not started period yet.

My cousin has just turned 13 and she’s now got a tummy that is quite blatantly fat and not bloating. Her mum lets her eat a ton of shit and is setting her up for a life of battling with her weight, just like her.

You say her diet is already healthy so unless she’s eating food you’re unaware of, it cannot be a diet issue. Therefore it must be bloating.

Can you both do an exercise class together once a week? Sell it as quality time together rather than focus on her weight.

Unless there are physical symptoms then it really is to soon for the hysterics of her Mum and Grandma. There’s a lot going on both physically and hormonally at this stage in her development, if you are concerned speak to a healthcare professional to educate yourself but for Christ sakes, stop pointing it out to your DD.

My DD just turned 11..she's 167cm(taller than me lol) and wears ladies size12 and has lovely long arms/legs&a belly inherited from exs side of family..im certain things will change tho as she's yet to develop boobs&im small waisted-she eats fine&exercises plenty/is fit so it'll just be a matter of time&hormones doin their thing..but maybe she'll just be chunky waisted like sum of my gal palsim lucky she likes t-shirts&trackies/combats&is all about comfort&activity so the muffin top is never exposed apart from kayaking/pool but she honestly couldnt care less&i make sure she knows its all good-all women built different&dress4ur assets.Dont worry-at this age just arm them with knowlege&healthy options..

You see your DD everyday and wouldn't realise if she was overweight. I suggest measuring her height and weight and going from there.

I was skinny as a child, but I always had a pot belly. Never every lost it (maybe not to a huge extent, but it was always there). Some people just don't have flat stomachs.

Saying that, it could be muscle tone too - maybe you could encourage exercise that tones up the waist/tummy area - buy a couple of hoola hoops and challenge each other! Make it fun, it shouldn't be stressing her out.

I don't want to upset you but lots of people say this ^^ when it's not true. We have a very distorted view of what normal weight in young people looks like these days (it looks very slim). Likewise, what we think of these days as "very active" would be considered almost sedentary conmpared to 50 years ago.

The most likely explanation is that your dd is overweight. Until you've discounted that by weighing and measuring her, it seems silly to look for another explanation unless she is showing other symptoms.

That said, as she is obviously v sensitive about her weight shoving her on the scales may not be such a good idea. Looking at her diet might be a better way to go, as long as you don't make it clear that's what you are doing.

Believe me, with the job I do I am aware that lots of people think their child is not overweight when they obviously are...I know that many people have lost sight (particularly in kids) about what is a 'good' weight and what is not. So I do agree with you.

As I said I haven't weighed her so I don't know for sure that she's not overweight though how good these BMI charts are as indicators I don't know.

I think am going to keep a closer eye this summer holidays and see how it goes....

If she's celiac try a few gluten-free days and you should see a difference fairly quickly.

As a coeliac I have to say this ^ is terrible advice. If you think it may be medical then go to you GP.

@LEMtheoriginal why can't you believe people are suggesting a 12 year old child could be pregnant? Do you think that's not possible? A girl I went to school with was 5 months pregnant when she turned 13. As this particular child hasn't started her period yet it's safe to say she isn't but it definitely happens

I don't want to alarm you, OP, but something in your post rang an old memory bell in my brain... especially since you say DD's body is changing but she hasn't started her periods yet. Does she have tummy aches from time to time? I would definitely get a checkup with GP. My older DSis didn't start her periods, had a distended tummy, and complained about discomfort about once a month... Turned out that her hymen (sorry if TMI) was totally blocking menstrual flow. She had to have it cut surgically under anesthesia and nearly 2.5 pints of blood came out! My DSis was so lucky that she hadn't developed an infection, but everything was sealed in... poor girl. My DF is actually a doctor and even he didn't cotton to what was happening until my DM got worried. Totally unusual, in terms of likelihood, but these strange anomalies DO happen sometimes! Good luck to you OP, maybe it's time.to trust your mummy spidey-sense and see what a medical exam indicates.

Trust your instincts OP, and get her to the GP. There could well be a medical reason that needs treating. if not, it’ll put your mind at rest.

I know it’s awkward bringing up physical perceived ‘flaws’ with teenagers, but if it means being a good parent and taking care of her health it’s necessary. It was awkward for my friend bringing up with her teenage son his really severe acne, but he got over the embarrassment, saw the GP and was able to get some pretty effective treatment which has made life much easier for him overall.

Make an appointment.