Jekyll and Hyde

[Winegal]

So stressed. I've been with DP for 3 and a half years. We're are going on holiday on Thursday (abroad) and for the last few weeks his drunk state has been HORRIBLE. Being spiteful, just nasty. He had recently gone on sertraline, the anti depressant but if anything it has made him more vile, proper vile than he ever was before (he was always lovely)

Is it the drug or am I finally seeing his true colours?!

I wanted to sleep in the spare bed tonight and he keeps coming in saying you don't know shit etc etc

Don't know what to do

Just a bump. I'm now in the spare room any advice?

Do you feel safe? Are there children in the house?

Sorry if that sounds dramatic but safety first. Then tell him to go to sleep. Then tomorrow.

Why does he keep getting drunk if he knows he is horrible to you when he is?

No, sertraline has nothing to do with this.

Sorry I cant be more help than that. But it is unrelated!! He may be feeling more drunk as a result of the drugs interacting, though. Perhaps even more disinhibited.

As someone else said above, are you safe?

Thanks for your responses. We don't have children and I feel safe. I don't feel he would ever be violent but as he is 6"3 and I'm 5"2 when he gets nasty and shouty it's really intimidating.

We had a massive chat on Sunday morning about it and he was horrified when I told him how he acted but then did it again.

I need to go into the bedroom in a minute to start sorting stuff for holiday and don't know what response I'll get. I almost feel like going on the holiday without him

Please listen to your gut instinct and the fear you are experiencing.

My ex "turned" nasty, I thought it was stress then medication he was on but the reality was its his true nature..it took years to come out and only did when he felt power shifted towards him or away from me.

It is more likely something has happened in your circumstances to alter his sense of power.
Upshot is why even think of tolerating it? You have told him, yet he us repeating the behaviour...if you knew you turned when drinking wouldn't you give up?

If he can't control his drinking for a while, Sertraline is not a good anti-depressant for him to be taking. I was on it for a year or so and, while I rarely drink, on those occasions when I did it really wasn't a great experience and seriously screwed with my mood beyond anything the alcohol would otherwise have caused. Obviously, responses to medication are individual. I came off it in the end as it simply didn't work for me.

If your DH has been lovely throughout your marriage and is only now exhibiting this behaviour, I would get him to read this and contact his GP. That's a list of potential side effects and things to watch out for from the manufacturer. He shouldn't just stop taking them without medical advice, but he should see the GP as a matter of urgency.

I don't think going on holiday with him is a good idea.

Maybe you can go on your own for a break, and he can stay and sort his shit out with his GP.

I would say you urgently need to get away from this man. Once away you can decide what to do but drugs can change people to the point they lose their normal boundaries and that is what appears to be happening here OP. Please take care.

Sertraline takes about 6 weeks to get Into your system. The the gp will usually see how that low dose is going and increase your dose to a therapeutic dose, around 100mg. So basically if it's recently he's been put on it I doubt it's doing much just now, so I'd say you're seeing his true colours.