Not sure what I’m hoping to achieve by posting here but I just need to vent, and I’m too chicken for AIBU...
Last week DP had a health scare and is now off work ill. Without going into too much detail, while it is fairly serious he was never in intensive care, it’s not life-threatening and he should make a full recovery. Doctor has told him he needs rest, no stress, nothing strenuous.
We have two children aged 1 and 3, and DP has for the last few years been working long hours plus a long daily commute. We have no family nearby so pretty much never get a “night off”, and the youngest still wakes every night. All things contributing to the stress that has contributed to his condition no doubt.
He is also quite overweight (BMI in obese category) which must be a factor, but he seems to be in denial and said the doctors didn’t mention his weight as a contributing factor, even though they told him to eat a healthy diet (“no MacDonald’s” is what they said apparently). 
Since he’s been off ill I’ve been taking the children out by myself most days for at least a few hours for different activities and have done all of the meal preparations, housework, getting the kids dressed in the morning, pre-school run and pickup for the 3YO, bath time at night, and most of the childcare in the day plus all the night wakings.
DP has been staying in bed as long as he likes in the mornings, spending every day sat on the sofa watching TV - which I don’t have a problem with as such since he needs to rest - and he’s looked after the children occasionally here and there when I was cooking dinner / showering / doing laundry etc. and for the last 2 days he looked after them for about 1 hr a day while I worked (self employed working from home) as I was a bit behind on my work due to not being able to work much last week.
Apparently this is too stressful as our 3 year old can be a handful and he shouldn’t have to do any childcare. Today his mother phoned and he agreed for her to come visit and stay with us for a few days - I wasn’t happy with this as he didn’t even bother asking me, we then had a bit of a fight where he complained about having to look after the kids when he’s supposed to be resting! I told him fair enough, he can go upstairs into our bedroom and read a book or watch tablet if he finds it stressful but the boys need access to the lounge where most of their toys are, and both office and kitchen are just off the lounge so I’m happy for them to play without him there while I work/cook and I check in on them regularly (which is what I have to do when he’s at work anyway). He then complained that he doesn’t want to be in bed and that I just shouldn’t be working or reduce my hours. Basically he wants to claim the lounge for himself as that’s where the TV is, and he doesn’t mind the children in there as long as I’m around to watch them at all times.
AIBU to think he needs to get a grip and either watch the kids occasionally throughout the day when they’re in the same room as him, or if it’s too much for him to retreat upstairs and leave me to it like when he isn’t around?? AIBU to not want MIL in the house because it’ll only add to my stress and I think we should be coping fine without her? 
I just feel like my efforts for the past week have been wasted as it’s never good enough for him OR for his mum who is overprotective of him.
Sorry this was rather long, good job if you’re still reading. 
(P.S. have NC for this)