Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

AIBU questioning this message

20 replies

FizzyGlitterbee74 · 03/07/2018 19:39

I’ve never been interested in looking on my husbands mobile but at the weekend me and a girlfriend got a bit p*ssed, managed to work out his password and decided to have a nose. There wasn’t anything interesting but I can’t stop going over a message he sent to one of his female colleagues. One I know of and one whose texts used to pop
up on his screen quite a bit until she got a boyfriend. She asked how his hayfever was and he said he’d woken me and our 3 daughters up in the night having a ‘sneezing fit’. He added ‘shame!’. What has really pissed me off is the fact that this is complete bullshit as it never happened. He made it all up! There wasn’t a sneezing fit but I’m even madder he added ‘shame’. I don’t know why he would lie and/or put ‘shame!’ 🤬 Can anyone rationalise this?!

OP posts:

Daddystepdaddy · 03/07/2018 19:45

I think you've been on a fishing expedition and are trying to convince yourself that the old boot you've caught is a prize salmon.

SinglePringle · 03/07/2018 19:47

The ‘shame’ is shame at having a sneezing fit, no?!

Babyblues052 · 03/07/2018 19:51

Did he mean shame as in sarcastically like he doesn't give a fuck that it woke you all up? That's what I took from what you've written which would piss me off too. And the lying is weird.

Shortstuff08 · 03/07/2018 19:56

Sorry but I don't believe the 'I am not interested in his phone, but me and friend got drunk and took a look'

Why not just be be honest? You snooped for a reason.

And you are getting shirty over this? I feel you have bigger problems. You clearly suspect he is up to something. So what is it?

midnightmisssuki · 03/07/2018 20:37

You snooped. Found something fairly inconspicuous and now your angry?! what’s your AIBU? That he lied? Or that you snooped?

Branleuse · 03/07/2018 20:42

i think that you deciding to decipher his password and go through his phone WITH your mate is a hell of a lot weirder than his ambiguous text message

TheAntiBoop · 03/07/2018 20:47

He was reminding her he has a wife and three daughters

You checking his phone with a friend is really bad. I have access to dh's phone but only go on to find emails i need reference to. I would never let someone else look at his phone.

What's your issue with your husband because there has to be more to it than this?

Cynara · 03/07/2018 20:51

I just love how you've been sly and deceitful by snooping through his phone, and now you're pissed off by a non-offensive message to a colleague.
The message isn't your problem. You really need to look at why you did this, there must be deeper issues here.

MadMags · 03/07/2018 20:52

You and your friend got drunk and decided to snoop on your husband’s phone?

You must be a riot at parties.

HollowTalk · 03/07/2018 20:53

If my partner and his mate went through my messages on my phone, I would dump him and never see the other one again.

MurryFinge · 03/07/2018 20:54

So you’ve made up a thread about your husband making up a lie?

Ohyesiam · 03/07/2018 20:55

Lets face it op, it could be a whole lot worse.

RebelRogue · 03/07/2018 20:59

Maybe it was on another night when you were drunk and you "accidentally " didn't hear it.
Or in your drunken spy mode you forgot all about it.
Or it was a way to remind her that he is married with kids.
Or he's just a little weird .

Not as weird as you snooping with a mate and pulling angry faces over nothing really. Or the fact that you NEED a full grammatical and psychological analysis on the word "shame".

Pickleypickles · 03/07/2018 21:10

Sorry I agree with pp. you are reading way too much into something that was nothing. Dont snoop because you will read something ambiguous and then if you question him he will lose all trust in you and you risk ruining your relationship over absolutely nothing.

Rebecca36 · 03/07/2018 21:15

All sounds quite innocent to me.

HotNatured · 03/07/2018 21:17

Forget the nothing message you found.

The fact that you have no respect for your H is of much more concern. You have much bigger problems than the text. If my DH went through my phone, with a mate, he would never get the chance to do it again.

RebelRogue · 03/07/2018 21:21

Reading it again it's quite obvious.

While attempting wild monkey sex with her he had a sneezing fit that ruined it all so they agreed to try again when his hay fever is better. This is why she's asking for updates.
He is having second thoughts and still using the hay fever as an excuse. This is why he's lying.

The shame is because he's supposedly too sneezy for wild monkey sex.

Shortstuff08 · 03/07/2018 21:48

I am going to guess op won't come back. She probably didn't expect her amazing lie to be rumbled.

donquixotedelamancha · 03/07/2018 22:23

One I know of and one whose texts used to pop up on his screen quite a bit until she got a boyfriend.

How in God's name are you aware of the relative frequency of texts changing over time? I wouldn't have a clue how often DW texts twaddle to her mates (despite the fact she tells me).

She asked how his hayfever was and he said he’d woken me and our 3 daughters up in the night having a ‘sneezing fit’.

Is it really unlikely that he might think you've woken up, but you were still half asleep? Surely it's common not to remember a specific night time sneeze by your partner? If he's making up sneezes to impress a lass, he's the dullest man alive.

Can anyone rationalise this?!

Rationalise this post? Nope.

overnightangel · 03/07/2018 22:37

“i think that you deciding to decipher his password and go through his phone WITH your mate is a hell of a lot weirder than his ambiguous text message”

This x1000
You sound like a nut job

Flip