Do I stay with DH or other man?

[amylou1991]

Ok so I am a awful person and have been having a afaird behind DH back. for About 5 months now. I am 27 hubby is 32, been together 8 years married 2. He has never worked much And i was a web cam model so was making good money but working ALOT, and have always paids and provided for him, All the gifts he got me i paid for,weddings,holidays all me,
I decided to stop the camming and get a normal job as i did was stay at home day in day out camming, I got a part time job in a super store and meet a guy who is amazing kind and giving.

To cut a long story's short dh moved down to my mums to work down there, He wants us to move to spain in a month and have a fresh start, I risk losing my home,job and friends were i live now and the other man who i am also in love with, If we move to Spain I will have to cam again and support us and i do not want that but he does,

I dunno what to do, I love them both I know i am in the wrong for the afair but i tried to fight my feelings for months, coming home to a hubby's whos been on the playstation all day and cant even be bothered to come in a say hi really tipped me over dispite the countless conversations.

I am scared of making the wrong decision

PS sorry for the spelling/grammer

I don't think it is a good idea to move to Spain until we know what is happening about Brexit.

You're married to someone who wants to pimp you out. Dump him.

You're probably not going to like my response, but I think you need to finish with them both. Be honest with your husband. Be single for a while (a long while) and have some therapy.

Does the affair guy know about your H?

You clearly have problems in your relationship and things you aren’t happy with.

My suggestion would be to talk to your OH, tell him how you feel and be honest. If he doesn’t listen, doesn’t help improve the situation then you have every right to make a break and go your own way.

However, having an affair because you’re unhappy doesn’t solve anything. You have two people in your life and you’ll end up hurting both of them which simply isn’t fair.

I’ve been on the receiving end of an affair and it’s horirble. The worst bit is my OH chopping and changing his mind.

Make a decision on what you want and stick with it.

*HollowTalk fair point!

Leave both and sort yourself out before getting in a relationship again

You posted about this on May 8. Then again on June 22. You got the same advice on both threads. Now here you are again, asking the same things again, and receiving the same advice again.

How about this time you actually READ and take in what everyone says and then either taking that advice or decide you like all this drama and carry on with the way things are without posting the same thing every few weeks?

How can you love them both, honestly? In love with them both?

I agree with above you need to finish with both, and decide what in life it is that you want without depending on a man to make you happy.

No way should your DH be expecting you to Cam again especially when you don't want to.
I hope you can find your happiness OP

Thought it sounded familiar

We're you hoping for different responses from your last 2 threads?
Your husband sees you as a cash cow & thinks nothing of pimping you out to fund his lifestyle-take a break from men as your clearly not great at picking them.

You're not your, ffs

wanted to add a little more details.

OK I've now read your other two posts and they're all basically the same.
Maybe it would be easier if you just TOLD us what you want us to say, we can say that, and you can get on with your life?

There's a few of these about lately. People keep posting the same thread as they are just not happy with the advice given to them. It's like they want responses along the lines of 'stay with them, you will be fine' even though the op has been beaten up by her 'partner' - I'm referring to another thread here.

I haven't read your previous threads and don't plan on doing so.

Leave both and have a fresh start. I also don't believe you can love more than once person.

This sounds familiar.

So you've added a little more detail, but the advice remains the same - get rid of both of them.

Since you haven't listened to other people twice, here's what you want to hear.

Tell them about each other and suggest that they share you so you can have both of them. You can live happily ever after in the UK with a husband and a boyfriend, and maybe move to Spain in the future knowing that you'll be taken care of by both of your men. I'm sure your husband will be fine with it, he wants to pimp you out on webcams anyway.

My thoughts:

End the affair. At 5 months, you are still well within the initial period in a relationship called 'infatuation'. This part will end as you come to learn who this other person really is and they may not be who you thought they were. The affair just complicates what's a serious enough situation so make what happens next easier and stop this.

Don't go to Spain. You know this already, for the same reason as above; it complicates a delicate situation further.

Engage your other half constructively. If you believe he has it in him to be the man you need him to be, perhaps you can salvage what has been a large chunk of both your lives. If not, you'll learn for sure that there's no hope and will feel better about later leaving him.

I sympathise with your situation. Good luck.

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